The Ice Prince of the Desert

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Izzy's POV

What the hell is going on with her?

I never imagined that she would come here unexpectedly and run off the desert the following morning! She's so unpredictable... insanely stubborn and fearless. And I hate that I could not control her.

Dammit! Why she wouldn't listen to me.

I did every measure to stop her at that moment-- scaring her that she would die in the desert and resolved to a threat that I would never chase her. But look at her, she doesn't care at all. She was risking her own life.

The hell! I was the one who feared for her life. I could not let her walk in the desert, under the heat of the sun. She had a very delicate fair skin and she would burn easily. My skin was hard as a leather and I suffered sunburn before. I hated the discomfort and had to bear it for a week. How much more London's baby soft porcelain skin. The thought that she would suffer really upset me.

Not to mention the heatstroke. Surely she would pass out in the middle of the desert and eventually covered with sand. The thought itself made me cringe. And what if another group of bandits would see her. Fuckingshit!

At an impulse, I took my bag and put all my important stuff inside -- the map, the black heart diamond, books and documents. Things that I could not leave behind.

I grabbed a bottle of water and run to the back of the tent. With one hand, I swept in one fluid motion, the edge of a thick carpet that was coated with sand revealing a high speed heavy duty sand mobile. It was like a motorcycle with four wide wheels and could occupy two persons.

I put my bag and the bottle of water in the back compartment then started the sand mobile. The engine roared in one try and after giving it some time, I drove off towards the dunes looking for her.

Yeah, I could not let her go easily. She came here all the way from England, had bear the journey just to see me. Whatever her reason was... it suddenly seemed not important. All I knew was, she sacrificed just to see me.

I recalled the last time we saw each other. That was a year ago. It was early morning at the New Ritz Hotel in England where I checked in for two days. She was already dressed and holding her handbag ready to leave the room. Something woke me up and I caught her when she was about to open the door.

"Leaving already?"

She jolted and dropped her hand from the door knob. Her shoulders slumped as she looked at me looking so radiant and beautiful without any makeup on.

"You should have pretended to sleep and just let me go."

"Sorry babe, I don't do that. I never pretended to be asleep every time you'd leave me at dawn." I sat down and studied her carefully.

"Well, I'll be very careful next time you won't wake up."

"Wicked. Come here." I lifted my arms reaching for her but she just shook her head.

"I have to go."

I dropped my arms on my sides feeling so frustrated all of a sudden. The same feeling I had whenever I'd wake up and find myself alone in the bed. It became her habit from the start leaving me at dawn.

"I want more." I said.

She heaved a sigh then check the time in her wristwatch.

"I can't. I'm in a hurry. I told you last night I have a plane to catch for L.A."

I raked my hair with my fingers frustratedly then held her eyes once again. "I mean I want more in this relationship."

Her lips twisted a little as she averted her face. "We don't have a relationship Izzy. We're just friends. Friends with benefits."

I tried to control my thunderous expression. "We've been making love for a year and you don't call this a relationship?"

"We only had sex. No feelings or emotions involved."

"What the hell! We're not animals who just meet and have sex. We can't go on like this London. We need to talk this over."

"What do you want, a declaration of my undying love and affection for you? Sorry, I can't do that with you Izzy. I know you can't do that to me either or to any woman in this world."

"What do you mean by that?"

"We both know, I don't have to spell it out to you."

"Well baby, I don't know. So spell it out to me."

"Okay, if that's what you want. Ever since the moment I met you, you are into Claire. You are obsessed with her... until now that we're grown ups. For how many years, I witnessed how you worshipped her like there was no other girl in the world. Though she's married to Zion now, I know that deep inside that heart of yours, she's always the one in there. No one could replace her. She was locked and sealed inside. I could never compete with her and I don't want to even try. You know why? Because I don't want to end up getting frustrated and hurt. I deserve better Izzy, someone who would love me unconditionally for who I am. Not a rebound, a second best or a substitute."

"You are neither of those. I swear London, I'm totally over Claire. That was only a childhood fantasy that faded off."

She shook her head refusing to listen, and I continued.

"I even helped her and Zion to end up together because they're so in love and meant for each other. Why would I ever force myself into her. She's not the same girl that I used to have a crush on in grade school. I'm a grown up man and my taste changed. I realized that I like... blonds better. Don't get me wrong... not just any blond, but you specifically. I like you London. You're so strong, funny, full of energy, smart and competitive. No boring moments with you at all. Yeah, I can't deny that the sex is so fantastic but we also have great conversations."

"What do you really want Izzy."

It was so hard to find the right words to say but I tried. "I just want us to be exclusives... to be official. To see more often... and be together."

"What are you really offering. Commitment? Marriage?"

That struck me really hard. "I... I..."

"See? You're not sure."

The truth hurts. I could not offer her marriage because I did not want to disappoint her. She would want a child and sadly I could not give it to her.

Our conversation ended up in argument. She left saying that she would not want to see me again. That day, I regretted my action. I realized I made a wrong move by asking too much from her.

Now, telling me that she had a baby was very upsetting. How could that happen when I am infertile? The thought of her with another man, sleeping with him and carrying his baby, unleashed the evil side of me. I was so angry and jealous.

But there was a tiny percent at the back of my mind seeing it in a positive side. Maybe it was for the best.

A bargain. I have to offer her a bargain.

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