New Year, Same Us - Auston Matthews

Bonus/Alternate Scene

July 2018

After Paige assumes that (Y/N) and Auston are together, she asks the one question everyone has been dying to know.

(What would've happened if Paige had asked this instead of going along with the conversation)

-

"Wait." Paige blinked, turning to look at me, "You guys aren't together?"

I shook my head.

"I'm sorry, I just assumed, Kappy never told me you weren't and-"

"Paige," I smiled, cutting off her rambling, "It's okay, it's not a big deal really. Everyone thinks we are at first. Honest mistake."

She quirked a brow, seemingly confused, "If you're not together, have you ever hooked up?" I shook my head again.

She paused, a little bewildered, and then asked again, "Have you at least kissed?"

I sighed, "No. Nothing has ever happened between us and I don't think anything ever will. He just doesn't see me that way."

"There is way too much fucking sexual tension for nothing to have happened between you guys." She raised her voice in fake frustration and I laughed.

"That's what I'm saying!!!" Steph chimed in. "Too much chemistry. I am waiting for the day you guys wake up and see how you see each other." She adds, and then grumbles something about "too much mutual pining, damnit."

"Like I said, you guys. He only sees me as one of the boys. We're best friends. That's it. I feel like I have to explain it over, and over, and over again, and I'm kinda tired of it." I could feel the pressure burning in my chest. It wasn't that I was mad at them. I loved my girls to death. I just felt like I didn't have anyone to talk to about the way that I see things. It was always what other people perceive Auston and I's relationship to be. "I am tired of people seeing something that isn't there and voicing it to me. Because I get my hopes up. Again. And I'm let down. Again. And I'm tired of someone getting the chance to break my heart over and over when they don't even realize they're doing it, okay?"

Paige and Steph were good listeners, and I think they knew what was going on with me when the emotion bubbled up inside me and poured out in a raised voice. They both placed a hand over mine and I leaned my head onto Steph's shoulder, and Paige leaned her head onto mine.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" I started but Paige cut me off, "Girl, don't apologize. You've probably been holding that in what? Your entire life. It's okay to share what you're feeling."

"If it makes you feel any better, when I'm mad at Mitch I write him a letter of why I'm angry and make him read our argument from my perspective." I laugh at that and Steph runs her fingers through my hair. "You laugh now, but writing it down usually makes me think out what I want to say to get my perspective across, but also gives me the distance I need. It makes me less snappy with him and lets me digest why I'm really mad. Usually ends up in the bedroom buttt-"

All three of us laugh at that. But Steph starts again, "What I'm trying to get at is, everyone has their own way to deal with things. You don't have to apologize for your feelings or the way they come across."

"At least not with us." Paige says.

"I'm really thankful for you guys." I truly didn't know how I could survive Toronto without them.