In The Darkest Depths

14. Comes Creeping In

"What are you doing here?"

I don't miss the bitterness in Carter's voice as he opens his front door to see me standing there. Nor do I blame him. I had completely overreacted yesterday. It took a two hour session with Dr Jenson for me to realise it.

"I'm so sorry," I blurt out. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

I see his eyes start to soften, but he doesn't speak, waiting for me to continue.

"I spent so long being told by so many people all the things that could possibly be wrong with me. Every new psychiatrist had a different diagnosis; they could only see my flaws. Believe me; I've heard it all before. I know the symptoms verbatim. I could tell you everything about it. So when you-,"

He cuts me off by pulling me into his arms and holding me close to his chest. "I'm sorry too. I should never have looked into it like that. I care about you and I was just worried."

I can feel his heart beating through the thin material of his shirt. It soothes me in a way that nothing else seems to. And when I look into the deep blue depths of his eyes I see the concern and tenderness there.

He places a soft kiss on my forehead. "Do you want to come inside?"

He leads me in without waiting for an answer, taking me straight into the kitchen and pulling out a chair at the counter for me. His mum is nowhere in sight and I assume she is at one of her two jobs. I'm glad she's not here at the moment, even though she's lovely. Every time she sees me her face fills with sadness and pity, and I don't really need that right now.

Carter's phone rings on the counter just as he's turned the kettle on to boil. He grabs it and answers it quickly, "hey man. How's it going?"

I watch Carter as he cradles the phone between his ear and shoulder and reaches for two mugs.

"Okay just be careful. Sure, see you later."

Carter hangs up the call and proceeds to spoon coffee into the two cups. It warms my heart to see that he remembers the way I take it; milk, no sugar.

"How's Brennan?"

"He's okay. He's going to Saige's at nine, after she's had dinner with her parents. And he wants to come here in about an hour, to hang out until then. Says he can't stand being in that house right now."

And who could blame him? There are reminders of Rhea in every single corner. Photos of her smiling, her shoes that she always used to leave by the door, hairbands scattered on every surface because she could never find them. It must kill him to walk through the hall and see all the remnants of his sister.

I know, first hand, what the loss of a sibling can do to you.

"I can go?" I suggest. "Leave you guys alone?" My reasoning is selfish; Brennan's pain remains me of my own and all I want is to escape the lingering ache I feel whenever I think of Adam or Rhea.

"Drink your coffee first." He places the mug in front of me, understanding etched in his eyes. "We have an hour to kill before he gets here."

Kill.

His choice of words is harmless, but they still don't sit well with me for some reason. As if he senses that he's made me uncomfortable, his hand reaches for mine across the kitchen counter.

"I'm sorry. That was the wrong thing to say. What I meant was; we have an hour to spend together." His smile chases away my doubts and I find myself relaxing. I am being over sensitive. About everything. I can't get upset over every little word that someone says.

"That's okay." I sip my coffee, letting the warmth flood through me.

And sitting here in Carter's kitchen, with a cup of coffee in one hand and Carter holding the other, I try to convince myself that maybe, from here on out, it will be.

Brennan's hands grip the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turn white.

He's crying, distraught. The grief is written across his face like a permanent tattoo. Rain pounds against the windshield in a relentless rhythm. The windscreen wipers swipe back and forth doing nothing to clear his vision.

Because it's the tears that are making it hard to see and he does nothing to wipe them away.

He smacks his hand on the dashboard, cursing loudly. He's laying out his pain, leaving it bare in the confines of his car. He's heart broken, devastated. He doesn't see the flash of white in the road until it's too late.

He swerves just in time, missing it completely. The car spins out of control, slipping along the wet road. The smell of burnt rubber floats up into the air, mingling with the rain. The tires squeal loudly on the tar, the sound ripping through the night. He tries to correct his trajectory, but it's too late.

His car slams into a tree just off the road, the bonnet crumpling like a sheet of paper. Glass shatters into a thousand pieces, sprinkling along the ground. Brennan's head bangs hard against the steering wheel, slicing his temple open.

Blood trickles from the wound and pools into his lap.

He doesn't move again.

The sound of my phone ringing jolts me out of my dream and throws me back into reality.

I make no move to answer it. My heart is racing, pounding against my chest. Once again, I'm covered in sweat. So much, that my t-shirt has almost gone see through and my bedding is saturated.

The incessant ringing stops, filling the air with an eerie silence that only lasts for a few seconds. It starts up again, seeming almost louder than the first time. I struggle to steady my hands enough to reach for it.

"Hello?" my voice is groggy, still coated in sleep. The nightmare swirls around my brain, determined to make itself known.

"Audrey," Saige's voice is so thick with tears I can barely understand what she's saying. "Brennan's been in an accident."