In The Darkest Depths

16. But I Know My Sins

"All I'm saying, is that you should probably just stay home today," I tell Saige over the phone.

"You're kidding right? My boyfriend is on a hospital bed fighting for his life, and you expect me to stay home?" I can hear the indignation in her voice and picture her placing a hand on her hip, the way she does every time she disagrees with someone.

"When was the last time you slept? Shouldn't you be resting?" I know for a fact she has only just left the hospital ten minutes ago. Carter and I had watched her drive away. She'd been there all night.

"I will rest when he wakes up." Her tone is clipped and I can tell she's annoyed with me. "Now I have to go, I'm getting changed and heading back to see him. I'll talk to you later."

She disconnects the call before I can argue again. Carter lets out a low whistle. "That went well."

"What do we do now?"

"Wait for her to get here," he suggests. "We can try talking to her again. I think you should tell her everything."

I nod. I had known it was unavoidable. That, eventually, I would have to come clean. I just wished that I could put it off a little longer. But Saige's life could possibly be hanging in the balance. And the more she knows, the more chance she has of surviving this.

Whatever this is.

And so, Carter and I wait in silence. He thrums his fingers against his knee, an annoying twitch that I wish he would stop. He's making me more nervous. I reach for his hand, the first time that I have ever done so, and he smiles up at me.

Eventually, Saige pulls into the parking lot, and jumps out her car. She's changed from the outfit she was wearing earlier. I probably should have done the same. I'm still in the pyjamas I was wearing when I rushed to the hospital.

"Saige, wait up!" I call out, slightly out of breath from leaping out of Carter's car and running to her.

"Audrey, what are you doing here?" Her eyes narrow at me. I wasn't exactly expecting her to be happy to see me, but I wasn't expecting this kind of chilly reception either.

"I need to tell you. I think you might be in danger." In the car I had worked out an entire speech, a way to tell her that would make her listen. Now that I'm here, I'm fumbling over my words, struggling to put sentences together. "I had a dream-,"

"Audrey," she cuts me off coldly. "I don't have time for your dramatics right now, okay?"

I flinch as though she has slapped me. Her words sting more than I ever could have imagined.

"You need to stop. Rhea's dead and Brennan's-," she takes a deep breath. "Look, I know things have been difficult for you since Adam died. But right now, your dreams or flashbacks or whatever the hell they are called, are not my main priority. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go see Brennan."

And with that she turns on her heel and leaves me in the middle of the parking lot. I wasn't prepared for the verbal beat down. Every single word that fell from her mouth pierced me like an arrow.

Rhea. Brennan. Adam.

Dead.

It was a flurry of blows that knocked the wind out of me. I turn and make my way back to Carter waiting for me in his car, determined to hold back the tears.

I've cried too much already.

"You did the best you could."

I can tell Carter doesn't even believe his own words. I know he thinks I should have followed Saige. He's probably right.

"What do we do now?" My voice is hoarse and my determination is slowly fading.

"I think," he puts his car into reverse and backs out of his parking spot, "I should take you home. You can have a shower. Maybe get some sleep. At the moment, she's in the hospital; it's probably be one of the safest places she could be."

I tend to disagree, but I don't feel like arguing with him. So I nod and imagine all the horrible accidents that Saige could be in at the hospital.

She could fall down the stairs. She could trip over wiring and bang her head. She could accidentally swallow some penicillin, which she is deathly allergic to. She could-

"We're here." Carter pulls into the driveway outside my house.

I glance up in surprise. My dark thoughts had followed me all the way home, making the drive seem so much quicker.

"Will you come in?" It's selfish of me to ask him. He's probably also exhausted and in need of a shower. But I don't want to be alone right now.

"Of course," he answers, like he knew what I was going to ask before I did.

So we trudge up the steps and through the front door. Luckily, neither of my parents are home from work. My dad would never let Carter in my room if he was here. My mum would be okay with it, but she would ask me a million questions about Brennan that I'm too tired to answer.

I had sent her a message earlier with an update though, so hopefully that will ease her worries for a while.

As soon as we get to my room, I excuse myself and go for a long hot shower. I let the water cascade down my skin, revelling in the warmth. When I go back to my room, hair still wet, I find Carter sitting on the edge of my bed waiting for me.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yes," I lie.

"Come here." He pulls me onto his lap and hugs me tightly, warmer than any shower could ever be. "We'll find a way to get through this."

I don't answer. I can't. Because a bruised and bloody Brennan is standing at my window. His face is a spectacular array of blue and purple. There's a gash on his temple that's dripping blood down the side of his face.

And he's pointing directly at Carter.