Only Human [Death Note]

Chapter 12: Salvia

Dull eyes opened, lost in broken memories.

"Reina?"

She flinched, her stage name only a reminder of who she was. Looking around, her face scrunched up in confusion at the sight of her own room. "What happened?"

L let go of her hand, pulling his knees up to his chest. "Watari saved us."

She sat up, changed into one of his long sleeves. Biting her lip harshly, she dared not to meet his gaze, staring out the window. The sky was pitch black, no light glowing from the stars.

"Did they... Did I..."

The silence was deafening yet the answer couldn't have been louder. She had hoped the pain in her pelvic region held a different cause. She felt disgusting.

Her hands fisted the sheets beneath her as tears brimmed. She had never felt so ashamed in her life. For him to see that side of her was a nightmare. Her chest clenched, wanting nothing more than to die at that exact moment.

"Reina.. I-I.."

She looked up, laughing. "You're what? You're sorry?"

He closed his mouth, seeing the madness swirling in her eyes.

"You're sorry that you couldn't stop them from raping me? Well guess what? It wasn't rape." She smiled as tears began to escape. "I fuckin liked it. I enjoyed EVERY second of it!"

He remembered how she didn't struggle against their hold, allowing them to have their way. He remembered how her moans encouraged them, becoming a willing victim to their ceaseless pleasure. He remembered when their gaze met, her eyes were empty and unfamiliar.

"Are you surprised? Disgusted? Sickened by who I am?" She giggled, the sound deranged. He shuddered at the sight of her growing insanity, her cheeks flushed with desire yet eyes wide with burning self hatred. Tears continued to fall, Reina the perfect picture of suffering concealed by madness.

"Reina, listen to me-"

"This is who I am, Lawliet. It's who I've always been. You can't love me. I'm disgusting! A slut, a whore! A poor excuse of a woman who cannot love!"

He stood up sharply, the chair he was sitting on knocking over. "Stop it, Reina! That's not tr-"

"Lies!" She screamed, pressing her hands against her ears. "Leave! Lawliet, leave me alone."

"For Christ sake, Reina," he grabbed her arm, trying to get her to listen. She fought him, sobs racking her body.

Tearing her hands away from her head, he pinned them above her as she continued to struggle. "Get off me! Don't-!"

"LORRAINE!"

She stilled at the sound of her real name.

Their heavy breathing was the only thing that could be heard in the silence that overtook the room.

Suddenly wet drops fell onto her face, the source being his eyes.

"L-Lawliet?" she whispered, scared to see him cry for the first time.

"Don't." His voice cracked, sounding so defeated.

Her heart broke. "Lawliet..."

"W-When they... and I couldn't stop them.." A sob left his lips, shoulders trembling. "I didn't care what you had to do or what you have done. B-But when you looked at me and didn't see me.. I was so damn scared, Lorraine."

She couldn't breathe once their eyes finally met. Dark, terrified orbs consumed with deep longing, clouded with tears yet held so much love for the subject of his stare.