Something Phenomenal

Phenomenal: Nineteen

Day 3 back in the hospital

I woke up feeling tired. It's like I'm getting more and more tired the longer I stay here. I went into the same morning routine, but it doesn't feel like what it used to be.

Mamala and Iñigo came to visit me in the morning. They brought food I've been asking for since day one and since the food in here is so bland. By ten o'clock Iñigo had to leave for his class and Mamala and I were left alone.

She's slicing fruits when she asked me about Shane. "He's been asking about you. Bakit hindi mo sinasagot ang mga tawag niya?"

I keep my eyes on the TV even though the movie isn't that interesting. "I'll text him later," was all my reply. Though I know I wouldn't do it. All his texts and calls were stuck on my phone, unanswered.

"Nag-away ba kayo?"

"No," sagot ko. "Just tell him I'm okay. I don't want him to worry."

"Siguradong mas nagaalala siya dahil hindi mo siya kinakausap."

But how could I tell him I'm here? Shane would drop everything and go here. I know, I've seen him do it a hundred times. How much does he have to bare being with me?

After having lunch together, Mamala had to go too, and I'm left again in my room. I tried to watch movies and do stuff but nothing seems remotely interesting. When did things get bland as we grow up?

My phone buzz from the table. I checked it to see Shane adding another text from dozen of his unread texts. Gab, please answer my calls.

I put my phone back on the table, face down. I just want to lay in bed and do nothing.

When Shane's mom died, we were in our English class. One of his father's worker knocked at the door and went straight to the teacher. Nag-usap sila sandali and then the teacher went back in front of the class.

"Shane, pwede ka ng umuwi."

Shane was my seatmate then, because he insisted so. Nagbibiruan pa kami noong tawagin siya.

"Birthday kasi ni Mama ko," proud na sabi niya at bumungisngis pa.

Nakangiting pinuntahan niya ang tauhan ng Papa niya. Pagalis nila, humarap sa'min ang teacher na may malungkot na mukha.

"Class, patay na ang Mama ni Shane."

Two months siyang hindi pumasok matapos 'yon. Teachers and school staff were asking about him. One day, the congressman came into our school and told our homeroom teacher that Shane would temporarily stop from schooling.

Paguwi ko, tumakbo agad ako papunta sa bahay nila. As a kid I always find his house huge and looming and the congressman and Shane's brother to be intimidating. May mataas silang gate at mas mataas na pader na bubong nalang ng bahay ang nakikita mula sa labas.

Ang Kuya niya ang nagpapasok sa'kin. Kuya Tristan was this straight-A snobby, high school student who's basically the opposite of sunshine Shane. Whenever we play inside their house lagi niya kaming pinagagalitan dahil ang iingay namin at hindi siya makapag-concentrate sa ginagawa. So we always end up going to my house where we could laugh, shout, and run around all we wanted.

"Ayaw niyang magpapasok," sabi ni Kuya Tristan. "Hinarangan niya ng mga gamit ang pinto."

"Shane?" Kumatok ako.

"Hindi ka niya pagbubuksan," sabi ng Kuya niya sabay alis.

But it didn't bother me. I sat on the floor in front of his room. "Shane, alam mo kanina sa school..." Nagkwento ako sa mga nangyari sa school noong wala siya. I was talking alone, but I wasn't entirely talking to myself. Alam kong nakikinig siya.