Chapter 14:🖤

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Jungkook's POV:

As I opened the door. I was met with silence and the dark atmosphere in the house. I feel fear inside my heart. Fear that, I'm too late already. I tried to search the living room, but there's no Taehyung. No Taehyung at all.

"Jungkookie! Come on, let's watch my favorite kdrama, please..."

"Taehyung. I'm tired. I still need to work late. Just enjoy watching, okay?"

He just pouted. Then, he smiled as if to answer and assure me that, he's fine.

It stabs my heart. How can I be so heartless. I then saw the empty kitchen.

"Kookie... Look! I made a breakfast for you. I toasted a bread."-he happily stated.

"Taehyung___ I'm in a hurry. And, you don't call toasted bread without sandwich and an overcooked egg food. Okay? Just order some decent foods. I'll go. Bye..."- with that I kissed his cheeks and then left.

Then, again. It left a deep stab inside my heart. If... If I could only turn back the time. If... I could only... Then I'll do it right. I'll make sure to be with him. I'll make sure to love him nothing less.

Then, Hoseok tapped my shoulder.

"Are you okay? Have you seen him already?"-he asked.

With that said words. I rushed to the second floor. I am now standing in front of our door. Our shared room. The room which had been filled with love. Love that had left him broken into pieces. The room, where I can see him crying so hard this past few days. The room that should comfort and make him feel safe, is the same room that thorn him apart.

I'm just standing. Trying to regain my energy. Or maybe, I wasn't just ready. I wasn't ready to be met with nothing. I wasn't ready to know that, he already left me.

"Jungkook."

"I... I know."-i answered as i looked back to where he stoods. I slowly pushed the door knob.

"Tae...?"- I was right. There's nothing in our room. There's no Taehyung at all. The room is dark, indicating loneliness.

"No! No! No!!! This can't be! He can't leave me! Not now!___ ( I searched the cabinet for his clothes, but it was empty) No!!! Taehyung!!!( I cried out loud this time) You promised me, Tae! You promised that you won't leave me alone... I'm so sorry... Come back to me, Tae... I need you... Please, Tae..."- my knees got weak. I can't stand anymore, so I just let my body to sink in to the floor where I was standing.

It was a long time of crying and sobbing. I don't know how many hours or tones of tears have I cried already.

"Jungkook. I think, I think you have to see this."-then Dr. Jung handed me a white piece of paper with Taehyung's hand writing.

"Where did you get this?"- I tried to ask, but my voice cracks.

Then he pointed out to the bed.

"I'll just go outside to check the car."-he just said then left.

I felt my whole body trembled from just holding his letter.

I opened it slowly. I'm right, it's his letter for me.

Dear Jungkookie,

I'm sorry for leaving without a word. It's just that, I can't do it anymore. I can't lie to you anymore, nor pretend that everything is okay. You know how I loved you. I think it's a good thing that I couldn't see you, seeing you with her might only thorn me apart.

But, I want you to know that. I'm perfectly fine with it. You, finding someone better. I'm happy, at least you could live happily. I don't want to be a burden anymore, that's why. When you confessed to me. I didn't get hurt. The truth is, I felt relieved. At least, you can do things that normal couple does.

Kookie, now that I'm gone. I want you to live your life into its fullest. Don't ever think about  me, neither look for me. I am assuring you, by this time. I'm fine and all. You don't have to worry. And if ever you learn something from the past that, I couldn't tell you. Please don't feel any guilt. Whatever that had happened from the past, those are all meant to happen. Just think of it as a gift from me. Being with you for 7 years, is enough for me.

Those years with you, is the happiest moments in my life. If I could turn back the time, or choose whether to meet you in my life. I will still choose to meet you, I'll never want to change it. Meeting you, is the best thing that has happened in my life. I'll never regret meeting you. Maybe, if I have something to regret it's not meeting you. It's... It's being not enough for you. I wasn't enough, for you to be happy. My love hadn't been enough to make you feel the same. My efforts wasn't enough for you to stay with me.________ At first, when I had learned about how you lied to me, I felt hate towards you. But soon enough, I realized that it was my fault. I was expecting you to look back on me till the last time. But I wasn't thinking what life really meant. That, the world doesn't just revolved in me. That is why, I had learned to accept it.

It might had thorn my heart a few times. But I know, that my decision to let you break up with me, is just right. I am asking and pleading you now to forget me. To forget everything about me. As for me, I'll never want to forget it. But I know, time will come. Soon, the memory will slowly fade. I don't want it to fade, but we both know that it is meant to fade, right? Four years ago, I got diagnosed with Early Alzheimer's disease. During the first stage, nothing  will happen. I got diagnosed with it back when we were still on our 3rd year in college. You might have forgotten about it also, it's been four years since then though. I have nothing against you though. I don't feel hatred towards you.
Remember when you asked me at the wedding, why didn't I told you about it? I didn't mean to do that. Truth is, I hadn't remembered about it. Probably because, I'm getting worse.

I'm ready to fully let you go now. I am letting you go, so that you could live. I am letting you go, but it doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore. I love you so much, that is why I am letting you go. And I'll always love you. Goodbye, my Jeon Jungkook...

From: Taehyungie

This is too much already. I hugged his letter, trying to feel the warmth of his hug through this piece of paper. I can't breathe normally anymore. It's because of the too much pain in my heart.

"Taehyung...( I cried again.) I'm so sorry... It's all my fault. I'm sorry, Taehyung... I'm sorry..."

I can smell his scent from his letter. How I wish to be by his side right now. But, it only pains my heart. Then my vision got blurry. Everything turns to black. Then, that's all before I lost into deep sleep.

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