The Unknown

xxiii.

Doc's face was withered and pale. He lay limply in a hospital bed, his torso supported by a heap of pillows. There were multiple tubes taped to his skin, attached at the other end to clear bags of liquid.

"We've proceeded with chemotherapy treatments," Van said quietly, answering my question before I'd even thought it out.

Doc hadn't looked so bad when I last saw him, had he? I tried to remember, but the image of his face was a blur in my memory. I'd been too drugged out to really notice details, beyond recognizing that it was Doc I'd been speaking to.

"So you're sober now, eh? Does that mean you're back to resenting me?" He asked hoarsely.

I chuckled halfheartedly. "I'll never forgive what you did. But we don't need to talk about that now, considering..." I trailed off.

He smiled. "Considering I'm dying?"

"Yes...that." I'd never been around someone on their death bed before. I had no idea what to say. "How...how did things get bad this quickly?"

Van stepped in to answer. "Sometimes cancer can be relatively asymptomatic until things get, well...very bad. He's probably had it for a long time, and now the tumors have metastasized, unfortunately. There is little we can do, but we're trying." He folded his hands together, wearing a somber expression.

I was torn, unsure if I truly cared about the life of this man before me. Part of me thought any death was tragic and still loved him like a father just as I did before his betrayal. 

Another portion, and I wasn't sure how significant, wanted to revel in his pain in the name of revenge. The image of him squeezing Kyle's hand around my knife blade flashed in my mind. 

It had not been my fault when Kyle was caught, I finally decided. That blame laid entirely on Doc.

But then another thought crossed my mind—maybe if Kyle hadn't occupied the soldiers while I escaped the school, they would have overrun both of us. Then we'd both be stuck here. Without hesitation, I would take this fate for Kyle to be free. It was better me than him.

Yet all of us could be free if not for Doc and Jason's betrayal.

"So, where's Jason?" I asked, forcing myself back to the present. I folded my arms across my chest.

Doc weakly cleared his throat, suddenly appearing uneasy. He stole a glance toward the far corner of the room behind me, and I turned. 

Then my actions were controlled entirely by the searing hot anger that burned its way through my bloodstream. When I spoke again, my voice came out as a seething shout. "You miserable, disgraceful little sack of—" I was interrupted by a big hand being clamped over my mouth. I immediately tore it away and wheeled around to meet Van's panicked expression.

"Keep it down," he warned. "Both of us will be in massive trouble if—" 

He reached out to stop me, but I shrugged away from him, turning and slowly stepping forward. 

I leaned over the chair where Jason sat, digging into both armrests with my sharp fingernails. He sat there wide-eyed and bewildered, draped in a blanket as if he had just been sleeping. "You'd better be damn thankful they would shock me if I moved too fast, otherwise I'd tear you to shreds right now," I hissed, heaving in deep breaths between my words. "No, actually, I think I'd rip your spine from your body and bludgeon you with it." I smiled, baring my teeth at him. I stared wildly into his eyes until I glimpsed a hint of fear. His pupils dilated, and his breathing was quick and shallow. 

Kyle had taught me to read body language. 

But then I remember that the physical signs of fear and attraction were much the same.