15. Fate

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A/N: *in AO3 voice* Please see the end of the chapter for important announcement.

Everything went down hill ever since Jane died. The people who work here treated me as their personal punching bag. They bullied me constantly. Not only verbal, but also physical. They wouldn't hesitate to do it when they are bored, in a bad mood, depressed, or just because they feel like it. And I wasn't able to fight, not only because of the repercussions I received many times worse afterwards, I was also too tired of fighting back. I can only accept all those beatings and hope that one day their violence will go too far and have a direct impact on my life. At least I can get out of here, if that is the only way.

Unfortunately, that will never happen, much to my disappointment. Every time they finished doing whatever would make them feel better, that's when Gianna came to treat my injuries they inflicted. Unfortunately for me, they know very well to what extent they have to hurt me. Both physically and mentally. Actually, it was useless to treat my wounds. Because before the wounds were completely healed, they would beat me up again. It is as if Gianna is treating me only to prepare me to be abused again.

As for Stef? That man defended his employees rather than his own niece. He believed whatever bullpoops his employees said to justify what they were doing. I believed he actually let this all happen on purpose. And I'm not allowed to defend myself before him with words, moreover with my physic. He had made sure that I would never intervene with him again and he succeeded. I no longer can raise my hands against him, or open my mouth to speak up. Only he can.

This further emphasizes that the concept of consanguine 'family' is nothing but some fucking cat shit. All forms of kinship that I have, never come from people of the same blood, but from non blood-related ones. The last time I trusted someone with whom I shared the same blood with, my life was shattered to pieces. I don't know if it ever can be united again, impossible it seems.

In this place I don't have anyone. Everyone I have already left, died, or I left them. No one defends me here. I was meant to be alone, so people here treat me arbitrarily. Usually, people who is related to the boss must have special privileges. It gave said person respect from the employees who work for him. But unfortunately, that doesn't apply to me.

Nobody cares who Alessandra is. All they know is Alessandra, the walking punch bag, a target to relieve stress. At the very least, no one brought up that I was his family member anymore. Jane was the first and last person to bring that up. Maybe people just didn't care. Whatever the reason is I dont give a shit, as long as no one brought it up. What a prize, at the cost of my entire welfare.

Everyone looked at me with disdain and disgust. They always had a chance to torture me. They keep doing it incessantly, never getting bored of it. They can do it to their heart's content because Gianna is here. They don't have to worry that my life could end at any moment for what they did. After all, Gianna can definitely heal me.

Until now.

I don't know how long I've been here, time seemed to stop. Shivering on the cold cemented floor, occupying this dark room. In this room there was nothing but ventilation hole in the walls, letting the night breeze in and lowering the entire room's temperature.

It all started when I sneaked into the kitchen to find crumbs that I could still eat. Food is a primary human necessity, but for me it is such a luxury here. Our meal times are set in schedule. But unfortunately, the other employees always threw away the plates I took when I dared to show up my face before their nose.

So I just waited in my room until they all done eating. This should take about thirty minutes to an hour. I usually spend my time by drawing. But lately I have been spending time with activity that has long disappeared, which involved a sharp object and my upper arm's skin. I have been doing it since Jane di— who knows how long it has been since she was gone. I lost track of time here. I have promised him to stop and never do this anymore. I have promised him to love myself. But it seems, I'm lousy at this. I'm sorry Cal, but I can't help it at all. I hope you understand.

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