Take Me To Your Heart

Temptation

The next few days pass in a blur of funeral arrangements, legal matters, and caring for Bulut. I arrange for Bulut's nanny to move into Ferit's house and contact a former professor to help me find a suitable chef to run Ferit's kitchen.

I have not slept at Ferit's house since that first night, but I spend most of my time there. Bulut appears calmer when I am around and aggressively demands my presence when I am not. Every night is a battle to allow me to go home, Ferit pleading for him to understand that I need rest, but I will be back. I can tell Bulut is afraid to let the people he cares about out of sight for fear that they will not return.

He's changed in other ways too. My happy, cheeky boy has become more angry and violent, overwhelmed by emotions he cannot process or control. It's heart-breaking to watch.

Ferit has to go back to the office on Wednesday, unable to ignore for much longer the implications of the loss of two key executives. Deniz and Demet take this opportunity to visit Bulut and I at the house and we decide to spend the day playing in the pool, trying to make happy memories.

Demet has not visited since the day after the accident, but Deniz has been here often. The two of us have grown close in a short period of time. I can tell that as close as Ferit and her are, it's easier for her to be open with someone outside of the family.

"Sejal Auntie! Come in!" Bulut urges, splashing the water to entice me to join them. Deniz shrugs at me apologetically, knowing that I was trying to avoid this outcome. Unfortunately, Bulut doesn't seem to enjoy doing much without me these days. And when his wish isn't granted, things get ugly fast.

"Alright kid, I'm coming." I say, trying to hide my disappointment. The truth is, as much as I love Bulut, I am exhausted by all the child care on top of all the emotional weight. I was hoping to get a small break with Demet here. Bulut is fascinated enough by Australia that he loves hanging out with his new aunt. But, apparently questions about crocodiles can only hold his attention for so long.

I jump into the pool and surprise Bulut with a splash attack. He laughs, delighted at this new game. The four of us lose ourselves in this war, getting water everywhere. It feels cathartic to let out my aggression on the water and laugh so heartily after so much heaviness. Eventually, I give in, chuckling as I concede defeat to King Bulut. That was always Zeynep's nickname for her son, well aware of who was in charge of her household.

"My king," she would coo at her baby boy as she spoiled him.

Bulut's aunts surrender as well and he celebrates his victory with a little fist pump. He jumps on me and I grab him, holding him close.

Ferit finds us lounging on the deck chairs later when he arrives. Deniz and Demet have left, Bulut is napping, and I am taking advantage of the quiet moment to read in the warm sun.

"Should I take Bulut in?" he asks, standing over us. Today's suit is light blue and I feel quite underdressed in my bikini top and skirt coverup. I can feel Ferit's eyes lingering ever so subtly.

"We should probably wake him up or he won't sleep tonight." I answer, standing. Ferit nods in agreement and crouches down to wake him up.

"Aslan! Wake up and give me a hug."

Bulut is overjoyed to see his uncle as always and leaps up to give him a hug. I grimace slightly as he makes Ferit nice suit wet with his touch, but Ferit doesn't seem to mind.

In keeping with our usual routine, Bulut begs me to stay for dinner, on the verge of what looks to be a dramatic tantrum. But this time I accept rather than disappoint my sweet baby boy. I also want the chance to catch up with Ferit. I haven't seen him all day and I discover that I've missed him.