Kehlani didn't have the best life her mother was a drug addicted who never raised her and give her up to her aunt who in the end kicked her out at a young age of 16 , lani then really had to grow up and try to beat the odds in order to live out her...
I started this chapter on Saturday but my head was dizzy and i just didn't feel good so I'm finished it today I'm sorry for the wait y'all
Kehlani POV
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After AnnMarie found me cutting myself i had to stay at the trap under supervision for a week i end up leaving after the doctor told me i could i just went home i haven't spoke to von in days his been blowing my phone up so i broke it i didn't wanna talk at all i wanted to be alone i had so much on my mind i had so many thoughts in my head
Plus i was just tired of hearing ever hour from von or annmarie asking me the same question everyday "are you okay" i would lie and say yeah but deep down i wasn't my mother lie to me she basically stole from me i give her everything i had some days i would go without food just to send her money for her books It's like she didn't even care if i struggled i worked three jobs to pay off her dealers including von i was there for her when nobody wanted to be there for her feel sorry she just wanted to use me again I just couldn't think straight she really fucked me up my own mother i picked up a pen and paper just started writing some lyrics to get my mind right
I've literally been in this house for weeks i haven't spoke to nobody not even AnnMarie i knew she was just trying to be a friend but i just didn't want one right now titi hasn't been talking to me honestly idgaf I've texted her i called her to let her know but she never answers or she just ignores me ive noticed she been hanging with thot sisters and i honestly could care less if she thinks that's gonna piss me off it's not
"Why won't you asnwer my calls i thought you was dead" i signed i didn't even turn around "ann i told you I'm fine you don't have to text me every hour i understand your worried but I'm okay" i kept writing "well i just wanna make sure you okay" i could tell she was looking over to see what i was writing so i handed over the notepad "here tell me what you think" she took it from my hand and read through it i saw a tear drop from her eyes she wipe it away "this so good you should record it i have studio time you can have it for tonight if you want I'll drop you off" i just shook my head no i didn't wanna take her time plus i don't want her there i really just wanna be left alone
"Oh come please how about this i drop you off and you leave by yourself but you have to take my phone with you so i know your okay i noticed yours broke on the floor over there" she pointed at the broke phone on the floor i looked at her thinking if i should just do it "fine but your not coming with me" she jumped up and down and hugged me i just smiled and laugh AnnMarie was something else she is genuine person that's honestly what i like about her you could tell she cares
We left out my house and drive to the studio "how's Von" she smirked at me "his good just misses you his been mad lately tho yelling at everyone i think you should call him he is worried about you" i looked away caused i know i was the reason he was upset i ignored him for a week i honestly feel bad "alright we here i already told juju that you coming he gonna leave once you inside the girl at the desk don't mind her she a bitch just walk to door number 6" i nodded my head "thank you and I'll call him when i get inside" she smiled give me and hug and i left out the car
i walked inside and got a dirty look from the girl sitting at the desk but ignored her because she really don't want this smoke i was looking for door 6 and i finally found it i opened the door saw a guy "you must be kehlani I'm Juju i already set everything up she all yours" i smiled and thanked him once he left i pulled AnnMarie phone and went to contacts and found vons number and dialed it
RING
RING
RING
RING
"What the fuck you want AnnMarie?"
I just laughed because she was right he is mean
"Well for one I'm not AnnMarie and two for you to be a little nicer"
He noticed it was me fast his tone changed And smacked his teeth
"Lani where you been at ive been calling and texting you"
"I broke my phone because i just wanted to be left alone i was tired of the calls and text saying are you okay I've just been trying to pieces everything I'm sorry i should of told you" It was quick for a minute before he started talking again
"Next time tell me that don't go ghost on a nigga had me worried about yo ass where you at"
"I'm at the studio AnnMarie give me her time to use"
"Call me as soon as you done I'm coming to pick you up"
Before i could even say anything he hang up on me we gonna talk about that it's so rude i put the phone down and started to look for different beats for the song most of them wasn't right it was either to upbeat i wanted something with a piano like sound
After about like 30 different beats i finally found the perfect one thank god juju set up the mic and headphones right by me i put the headphones on and pressed start After a few takes i finally got it down i played it back to hear it all through after i felt like it was perfect i called von to pick me up and i downloaded the song on my phone and i saw von text me so i locked up and left out
I got to his car and hugged me and give me a kiss "do you wanna hear it" i was nervous but i really wanted someone to tell me if it's good or not "you sure i do wanna hear it but only when you want me to" i took the aux from him and played the song for him
I can hear your laugh It's ringing through the hallways I can see your smile It's what gets me through my hard days And your words Were supposed to get me through my heartache Before my heartbreak There's an emptiness That only few ever feel And I somehow missed The meaning of love that is real And it compliments My scars that will never heal Maybe I didn't deserve you Maybe I just couldn't cure you They told me that I didn't hurt you Why do I feel like I turned you? Maybe I don't understand it Tell me is this how you planned it? Did you see us so stranded? Maybe I'm too much to manage And if you weren't gonna guide me Why bring me into the light? Must have done something to make you want to run and hide Why oh why, Didn't you just live your life? And every girl needs a Mother And damn it, I needed you Instead you dug for cover And you ran from the truth And like kids do You waited around for proof Maybe I didn't deserve you Maybe I just couldn't cure you They told me that I didn't hurt you Why do I feel like I turned you? And maybe I don't understand it Tell me is this how you planned it? Do you see us so stranded? Maybe I'm too much to manage Maybe I didn't deserve you
After it finished i really didn't notice i was crying till von wiped my tears away "don't cry it was beautiful and fuck yo mom she left behind something so beautiful and great" he leaned and kissed me on the cheek he turned around and started the car
