His Brother - My Mate

Chapter 12: Mind Block

"I'm sorry" is all I'm able to get out in a whisper tone before walking back to the camp ground clearing with my head hung low. I can her the two boys shifting but I can't look back. I need to find Owen, I need to get away from them both. I don't know what to do.

Once I get closer to the camp fire I see Owen leaning against a tree kissing one or the she-wolfs. I don't care in this moment that I am interrupting, "Owen, can you take me home please?" I sub between words. This is why I love my brother so much, instead of questioning why he grabs my hand and we walk to the car. We drive home in silence, Owen knows I will tell him what's wrong when I'm ready.

I try to communicate to Sterling how sorry I am for walking away but I can tell he has blocked my mind link and isn't letting me in. What have a done? I always thought mates weren't real, or at the very least that people exaggerate the moment you just know this one person is for you. It really feels like love at first sight. But Sterling is the love of me life.

How could I have been so naive, I talked Sterling into leaving his mate for me. I have to go do the same, I knew this would be hard but I have to keep my side of the promise. I need to reject Asher, my Alpha to be with his brother. Will Sterling even want me after he saw that I let Asher explain himself, that he saw that I didn't reject him straight away? An Alpha being rejected rarely happens, I've never wanted to be a Luna, unlike most young girls who dream about it at some point in their lives. What will happen if I reject him, what if he never accepts someone else as he packs Luna. Mia hasn't stopped howling in pain at my thoughts of rejecting Asher.

Deep down I know Mia will leave me and sit herself out for a very long time if I reject Asher. Did Sterling feel this way after he rejected Maggie? I can't stop crying so I take my clothes off and as I look at my matching set of lingerie I cry even heavier which I didn't think as possible. I thought tonight was the night where Sterling would mark me as his chosen mate. I thought tonight was the start of the rest of my life with Sterling where we would find out own place and live happily ever after a few doors down from our parents.

Instead I curled up in bed, with my matching lingerie on, cryIng with Mia howling in my thoughts. I can't sleep as very 5 mins I try to get through to Sterling mind link, still nothing. My parents and Owen must have quested what is happening and I'm so thank for they are giving me space and aren't trying to get me to talk. Even without there werewolf hearing, everyone in the house can hear I'm crying.

There's a knock on my door, "no" I try to get out between cries. "Please Olivia, can I come in?" , I was expecting Sterling but it is Asher's deeper rumbling voice. "Ok" I whisper but his wolf hearing allows him to hear me and he walks in. I'm curled up under the covers so he can't see anything. "Oh Olivia, I'm so sorry your hurting", I can hear the sincerity in his voice and he sits on the floor leaning his baby against my bed.

Just Asher being in the same room as me gets Mia to stop howling in pain, and I'm surprised that he had also had a calming effect on me. My sobs get weaker and fade after 10 more minutes of neither of us saying anything. "He's blocked my mind link", he knows I mean Sterling. "I know. After what happened he left the campsite and asked Mia to accept him. I'm sorry Olivia." He says kindly. I start crying again, a mixture of sad, happy and disappointed tears. I'm sad that he's gone to Maggie, I'm happy that I can now choose my mate if I want but most of all I'm discounted in myself for letting Sterling reject his mate in the first place. How can Maggie or Sterling ever forgive me? Will Sterling ever forgive me for not reject Asher straight away? Is that still something I want to do, maybe as punishment to myself?

"I didn't want to hurt him like this, I didn't want to hurt Maggie either. I just didn't think mates were real, I didn't think the connection was so instant. What did I do to him?" he growls at what I said but I'm to sad about what I did to read into it. "I know. Everything is going to be ok. We will take one day at a time. I'm here for you, in any way that you need me to be" Asher says in a soothing voice. He shuffles closer to the head of my bed and starts stroking my head as lightly as he can with his large, powerful hands. I can feel his calluses on his palm and fingers, yet I have never felt so secure and safe under Sterling's touch.

I close my eyes with every new stroke of his hand and he hushes me softly under his breath. "You can go to sleep, I'll be here for you when you wake up", I close my eyes and could promise that I heard him thank the moon goddess that I didn't reject him but I'm already half asleep and it was said so quietly.

I wake up with my arm hanging off the edge of my bed, I can deep tingles running through my body and notice that Asher is sleeping on the floor next to my head and we are holding hands. I don't know what to make of this. It feels nice, but just yesterday I was telling his you der brother that I loved him. I let go of his hand and try not to wake Asher up, I have to go to the bathroom but I'm only in my lingerie. It's 3.30am, van I wait for another few hours, or do I just risk it and dart to my ensuite as quickly as possible?

I can't hold it much longer and Asher looks like he's in deep sleep. I get up making sure not to step on him and go to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and can see my bloodshot eyes from all the crying I did last night. I brush my teeth and leave the bathroom and get a pair of my pyjamas out of my dresser draw when I hear Asher stirring on the ground.

"Couldn't sleep?" he mutters sleep evident in his voice. I gasp and try to cover myself with the pyjamas as quickly as possible. "Olivia, I didn't mean to look. I'm sorry i assumed you had on night clothes when I came in yesterday. I will never look at you when you don't want me to, I respect you so much, I've closed my eyes. Let me know when I can open them" he says kindly.

"I'm decent now" I say shyly. "Do my parents know your here? They never let Sterling stay the night." He frowns at this, I can make it out in the dark. He just nods and doesn't say anything. I guess I'm not surprised, one he's our Alpha and secondly I can't see my parents standing in the way between me and my actual mate.

"Do you want me to leave?" Asher asks and he sounds scared to hear the answer.