Paint Me, Professor | Student-Professor Erotic Novel | 18+ | ✔️

31 - Relationship

Alison
***

As I waited for Chris to arrive, I smoked to calm down my nerves. I was alone in my room, hiding my feelings from my flat mates. When they saw me walk through the door with tears streaming down my face, I made up a stupid lie to cover up what had really happened. I asked them to give me some space and that tomorrow I'd feel better. Wasn't entirely sure if that would be the case.

Chris' outburst at the studio was completely uncalled for. As he confronted Gary about how he wasn't giving me proper work, instead of feeling validated and like I had someone on my side, I felt embarrassed. I knew Chris was protective over me, but I never imagined he'd do something like this.

What hurt me the most was that his behavior would be a little bit more understandable if we were in a committed relationship, if our relationship wasn't a secret. But we weren't, and he hadn't suggested otherwise.

We set rules precisely to avoid ambiguity and to make things clear, yet here we were, more confused than ever.

When he arrived, texting me to let me know, I took some deep breaths. I was so fucking mad at him I saw red.

Before walking outside, making sure my flat mates didn't hear me leave, I grabbed a cardigan. That night was the coldest so far since the beginning of the school year.

He was parked a few feet away from my apartment building. As I approached the car, the anger that I was feeling slowly morphed into disappointment and sadness. I pushed those feelings down, not wanting to show weakness.

I opened the car door and slid inside, slamming the door shut. I didn't greet him or look at him. I kept my eyes straight ahead, my arms folded, knees bent towards the exit.

The tension in the air was palpable. Neither of us spoke initially, I because I was proud, him because he was probably at a loss for words.

"Thank you for seeing me." He cut through the thick atmosphere in the quietest of voices, testing the waters. "As I drove here I had time to reflect and now I see that I was wrong to react that way. I'm sorry if I put you in a tough spot, it wasn't my intention."

I bit the inside of my cheek, still not saying anything.

"I just... I lost it." He placed his hands on the steering wheel. "I know how much you want to work in the art industry and it made me mad to see one of my closest friends treat you like that. He should have known better. That being said, I could have approached the issue in a much more... contained way."

I kept silent.

He sighed. "Alison, I noticed something, and I want you to confirm if it's true. I don't think you ran away from my apartment that day I sketched you because of the sketch itself. I think you ran away because I told you you were beautiful. I saw the same look on your face today at Kent's studio."

He paused, taking a deep breath. "It seems like you don't believe in yourself. You don't believe that you're beautiful, which you are, you don't believe that you should stand up for yourself, which you should. Why didn't you speak to Kent? Why didn't you share your ideas? At the very least make a sarcastic comment you so often do with me. Why Alison?"

As he spoke, daggers stabbed my heart. I felt small, so very small. He was pointing out my insecurities with such accuracy that his words almost caused me to have painful flashbacks of incidents from the past. Instead, hot tears fell down my face soundlessly.

"Why do you care?" I managed to ask without sobbing. My voice however, was laced in pain. When Chris noticed this, he placed his hand on my kneecap, lightly squeezing it.