Love Like a Man

Chapter 7 - Purple Pussy

Claire was awoken the next day by pinging coming from her phone. She was too hungover to read, so she didn't bother checking the texts, and instead, pulled her duvet over her head in the hopes of avoiding the world for another few hours. But whoever was trying to get in touch with her had other ideas; her phone had started to ring. Opening one eye just enough to read the name on her caller ID, she saw that it was Iris.

Knowing that Iris would eventually show up at her doorstep if she didn't answer, Claire reluctantly picked up her phone. She put it on speaker so she didn't have to exert the energy of holding it to her ear.

"I'm going to kill you, it's too early for me to be up."

"Well good morning to you too sunshine." Iris said sarcastically. "FYI - Miriam's also on the phone."

"We decided to three way call you so you didn't have to go over the gory details more than once." Miriam added.

"So... how was your niiiiight?" Iris asked, annoyingly drawing out the word "night".

"Ugh, are you two really making me do this? What time is it anyways? I think I'm still drunk..."

"It's 1:00 in the afternoon... And we're absolutely making you do this. So dish!" Miriam answered.

"You two saw everything there is to tell. Can I puhleeeze go now?" Claire asked, though she knew her friends wouldn't let her off so easily.

"What!? He purple pussied you?" Iris exclaimed.

"Purple pussy?" Miriam said, waiting for an explanation.

"You know... like blue balls, but for girls." Iris informed her.

"Oh, gross! You're such a perv Iris." Miriam said both disgusted and amused by her friend. "But seriously, Claire, what the hell happened? You two were all over each other at the bar."

"Honestly, I wish I knew. I think he's playing hard to get or something."

"No way. Guys don't play hard to get." Iris said in a tone that conveyed how ridiculous she thought Claire's assessment of the situation to be.

"She's right Claire. Maybe he didn't realize you were DTF?" Miriam suggested.

"You guys are so embarrassing. Look he realized. I promise... The whole reason he wanted me to invite our friends to the club was so we'd have chaperones."

"Hah! Some chaperones he chose." Iris said with a snort. "I hit that Russian beefcake last night."

"The chaperones weren't meant for you Iris." Claire said annoyed that her friend had gotten laid and she went home alone.

"So what base did you get to?" Miriam asked.

"Base? Are we in the third grade?" Iris teased. "Claire, what Miriam is trying to ask, is did you find out what he's packing?"

"Like I said, you two saw everything that happened. OK, I'm seriously hanging up now... BYEEEEEEEE." Claire said as she pressed the hang up button on her phone.

Claire set her alarm to wake her up at 5:00 pm, to ensure she accidentally didn't sleep through her date with Scott that night.

***

"If you like maki, the Red Dragon Roll here is fantastic, and so is the Spicy Tuna Crunch Roll." Scott said pointing them out on the menu.

Claire had been to Sushi Hour a handful of times and had mentioned that to Scott, but he appeared to be set on guiding her through the menu anyways. Just as Claire was about to comment, Scott's phone rang and he picked it up and held up a finger to Claire to silence her.

Normally, Claire wasn't one to put up with such rude behaviour on a first date and would have just excused herself to the bathroom and not returned, but she was trying to date without rules, so instead, she ordered a drink and allowed Scott to finish up his conversation undisturbed.

"Sorry about that" he said hanging up his phone. "Now where were we?"

"I think we were about to order." Claire said with a smile she hoped looked sincere.

She really did want to give Scott a chance; he was exactly the type of guy she was looking for. Aside from being an in house lawyer for a major Bank, Scott also was pretty handsome, in a country club sort of way. He had floppy blond hair and his mint green polo hugged his toned biceps. So, in an attempt to put the date back on track, Claire allowed Scott to order for her; he seemed to like providing his expertise.

Unfortunately, by the time their food had actually arrived, Claire had already had enough of Scott. Their conversation was awkward; he'd asked Claire about herself a few times, only to look at his phone or change the subject when she was midway through giving her answer.

Since this date was clearly going nowhere fast, Claire thought that she'd conduct a little experiment for her own amusement.

"So Scott, tell me a bit about what a corporate lawyer for a bank does. It must be pretty technical." She said baiting him.

Scott took the bait and began an elaborate explanation of his work day. When he finally finished, Claire then look at him, making her eyes super wide, and said "Wow Scott, that sounds like such a hard job. You must be so smart."

From there, Scott warmed up completely and began talking about his job with renewed verve. While outwardly Claire pretended to be fascinated, she inwardly rolled her eyes, thinking about how right Iris had been about this type of guy - All they want out of a girl was an ego boost.

***

When Claire got to work on Monday morning, she saw a single rose sitting on her desk. She was surprised that Scott had been so considerate, especially since he'd seemed disappointed when she declined his offer to go home with him afterwards.

She opened the little card that came with the rose, thinking that maybe Scott was more considerate than she had given him credit for...

Scott didn't deserve the benefit of the doubt after all - The rose was from Gabe.