Faceless romantic

Chapter Fourteen : Right back to you

~ Jocelyn's POV ~
It's been about three weeks and I'm still blocked. What did I do wrong? Maybe he's had me blocked since that very incident. I haven't spoken to him for over a month and it's felt like it's been much longer. I started talking to this guy since I assumed whatever me and Corpse had is gone. It just wasn't him. I didn't want another guy, I wanted corpse. It's always been him, no one could ever make me feel the way he does. This new guy was a couple months younger than me. He didn't seem like a bad individual, at least that's what I thought. That's when he started turning less like someone I wanted to be with and more of a strict parents. You know the ones that want to know my whereabouts every second of the day. It got very sketchy extremely fast. He always went out at night and wouldn't tell me where he's going. I didn't care much since I still had feelings for corpse. Maybe he was interested in someone else and that's why he blocked me. I guess I would never know. Then my phone starts ringing clashing with my thoughts.
"Hello..?"
"where are you? Since you want to be ignoring my messages."
I noticed that he messaged me like 20 minutes ago.
"Sorry.. I was busy."
I could tell by his voice that he wasn't buying my lie. In reality I was just trying to ghost him since I honestly wanted nothing to do with him
"Whatever, keep lying to me."
I was afraid of him. Not the type of fear I have with Corpse. More like genuinely terrified for my life when it comes to Jefferson. Pretty sure he has some undiagnosed bipolar disorder, but it never stopped me from standing my ground. Some girl messaged me last week telling me to be careful if I was talking with him. Supposedly he isn't good news.
"Jefferson I don't have time for this, call me when you're not in a bitchy mood. Actually don't call me at all today. I'm not gonna be on my phone."
"Where are you going? Are you gonna be hanging out with dudes?!"
I just hung up on him. I couldn't deal with him. I want to get dressed and threw on some leggings and an oversized hoodie. I wasn't planning on seeing anyone today, so I didn't try to look presentable. It was pretty late in the afternoon since I spent most of my morning cleaning the house. I went onto Instagram and noticed that corpse had never unfollowed me. I was fairly confused on why he blocked my phone number but not anywhere else. As soon as I'm about to walk out the door my phone goes off again.
*ding*
"hey honey I'm coming over with Scott later are you going to be home?"
I replied back with a simple "no"
Honestly, I don't wanna know what they have planned. They could fuck for all I care. I'm not planning to come back until extremely late. I made myself something to eat and then I was out. It didn't take me very long to stumble upon a spot I was genuinely curious about. There was this hill looking over the coast that seems like a good place to sit around and think for a while. I instantly went there. With no GPS I was able to visually navigate myself to the final location. I noticed that there were no parking areas around. I just left my car in the middle of the road at the top of the hill. I lost track of time while driving but it took me over an hour to get here. Not to mention the amount of traffic I had to get through that evening. I put my phone in the glove compartment and grabbed a notebook and pen. I wrote a few short poems about how I was feeling. Although for some of the emotions there were no words to describe it. I lean back against the car and watched the sun slowly set

~ Corpse POV ~
For some reason I woke up today with the urge of going back to that cliff. I don't know why but something in my body was telling me to go there today. I finished up the last bit of editing I had to do for one of my videos and uploaded it. It was the only thing I had planned for today. Once I was done I got ready to meet up with Anthony and Mykie. They wanted me to come by today to show their new place. I didn't mind making a quick stop since it was on the way there. Also I miss Ripley, so I might as well go say hi. The traffic was awfully heavy this evening but I finally reached their new place. I made my way over to the door and they welcomed me inside. They showed me around although there wasn't really much to show since they were still unpacking boxes. The fur babies were overjoyed as soon as I started giving them attention. I mean they haven't seen me for months. So after spending about two hours talking with them and catching up, I decided to get going. I made sure to come back soon once they were done completely unpacking. Then I made my way to that cliff. I noticed on the road there were some tire marks. Possibly someone was here or there still here. I couldn't tell if they came from uphill or downhill. Due to it getting dark, I assumed that it was someone who came earlier and must've left once they noticed the sun going down. Once I got to the top of the hill I was proven wrong, there was a car parked there. I parked and made my way over to the other vehicle. My face was pretty covered and I put my hood over my head. There was a girl looking off the cliff. She had long jet black hair that flowed through the wind. I cleared my throat and it managed to catch her attention.
"Oh I'm sorry.. I can leave if you want."
I shook my head and took my hood off.
"hey Jocelyn.. it's me"
Her jaw dropped and she hesitated to walk over to me. I don't blame her, I did block her and I haven't spoken to her in almost 2 months. I looked at her through my uncovered eye.
"Corpse..? What brings you here?"
Her voice was soft and timid. I walked over to her and gave her a hug.

~ Jocelyn POV ~
I felt weak to my knees being in his arms. I didn't want this to end. Although I haven't seen his whole face, I don't even care. At least I felt that bubbly feeling of feeling safe. After a little while we finally pulled apart from each other. I analyzed his face and noticed one of his eyes was covered. I brushed away his curly hair from his face and looked at him curiously.
"what happened to your eye?"
he doesn't answer my question and uncovers his other eye.
"it's really sensitive to light, even just for looking at a screen for five minutes it becomes inflamed"
I nodded and walk over to the bench looking over the cliff. He follows me and sits down next to me.
J: "i've missed you"
Corpse: "honestly, I don't know why but Same"
J: "you actually did? I'm surprised because you blocked me"
Corpse: "I was scared to face you and Rae"
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.
J: "Why were you scared? It's not like I matter much anyways. I'm just one of your supporters."
Corpse: " I fear getting close to people since they usually all leave eventually. You didn't even if I treated you like shit you still stuck around and tried to figure me out. when it comes to Rae after our situation in the car, well I thought maybe you told her. I knew it was fucked up that trail of events that I did that night. I don't know why I did it but I truly do apologize I didn't mean to be that way towards you."
J: "what did you think I was gonna tell her?"
Corpse: "I don't know..? i've been really hesitant with being open with people just in case if I did open up too much they would leave."
J: "i'm not like that so don't worry. Yes I was hurt but it was also kind of my fault."
He ends up putting his arm around me and pulling me closer to him. I couldn't help myself and I cuddle up to him. It was getting pretty cold, I was still in love with him. It started getting pretty late but I didn't want to go.
"it's getting pretty late we should get going."
I got up and he stood in front of me. My heart started pounding as the thoughts of going in for a kiss skyrocketed through my mind. He looked down at me and I went for it. I was shocked when he actually kissed back. I was so used to him pushing me away, things were actually changing.
"just letting you know there's gonna be a friend gathering/party in two weeks do you want to come with me?"
I instantly was smiling and blushing
"for sure I would love to go"
~~~
They kept hanging out with each other. They didn't argue or fight as much since Corpse was finally letting her in. In Jocelyn's mind she was pretty certain she was getting a relationship out of this. But some part of her stuff felt like she was going to get shut down again. Even though he was being loving towards her, there was still that cold heartless tension whenever he entered the room. Jocelyn couldn't piece the pieces together on why that feeling was still there. She wanted to ask someone that Corpse was close to if they felt that same feeling. She wasn't sure who. It would've been easy to ask Rae but she knows a side of Corpse that not many people know. It would've been weird to ask the guys so she would refrain from that also.
~~~
~ Jocelyn POV ~
I went on my phone to message Rae.
"hey girl can I ask you something?"
Moments later she replied back
"yes of course"
I took a deep breath and started typing. It didn't take me long to start deleting the whole paragraph.
"Are you there?"
I was taking 10 minutes to respond.
"So something happened between me and Corpse, I'm not gonna get into it because I don't know what it meant. But I've been wanting to ask someone something that's been on the back of my mind"
"Okay go on..?"
"Nevermind just forget it"