~Im sorry~

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Chapter 38!

Dont be a silent reader or i'll find you!!

Dont be a silent reader or i'll find you!!

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Sometimes I realize how grateful I am that Im not single anymore. I realize this more when I wake up with Xavier's arms wrapped around my body. The same arms that I saw fighting a vampire, I found comfort in. The same arms that belong to my boyfriend, and the same arms that dont have normal blood flowing through them. They have Elixir running through it.

I can't help but wonder if he lied when I asked if he had ever craved by blood, and he responded only twice. The Elixir's purpose was to prevent him from bloodlust for the day. What happens when one day he forgets to take it? Or if he's a couple of minutes due of drinking it? 

Now, I'm not implying he would hurt me. Im just worried one day I'll have to witness him feeding on another human. Though, maybe I could help...

"You ok love?" Xavier's sleeping voice startles me. "What do you mean?" I flip over in his arms to face him. He smiles tiredly at me. "Nothing. You just seem to have awake for a while." A lock of his hair falls on his face. Instinctively I brush it off with a smile. 

"I was just thinking." I say back. Xavier softly kisses me and rolls over, sitting up. "Pass me that bag on the chair please." He asks nodding his head to the chair at the end of the bed. 

I crawl to the end of the bed and grab a small black pouch. Suddenly, I lose my balance and the bag falls from my grip, landing on the floor.  A shattering sound comes from the bag as it falls. "Shit." Pulling the blanket off of me, I go to pick the bag up. 

Xavier gets up and we both stare at the bag. It was leaking a clear substance. "Dammit-" I look up at him to see a sliver of frustration on his face. Now I felt terrible. Whatever was in that bag was somewhat important. 

"Fuck, Im so sorry," My mind begins to scramble for words. I just begin to automatically spit them out, rambling. I felt like shit. "Whatever was in there, I'll replace. Im sorry I- I lost my balance and I - It just slipped from my hand-"  

Xavier notices my little freak out and grabs my face. "Hey, It's ok." I shake my head. "But it's not, you-it was obviously something important." My heart starts beating like crazy. "Davina!" Xavier shuts me up from my rambling. 

"Its.ok. You didnt mean to. Im not upset with you..." I let out a breath I had no idea I was holding. "What was in the bag?" I ask running a hand through my hair. Theres a moment of silence before he speaks. "My Elixir vials..." My heart stops.

Im about to start rambling again before Xavier beats me to it. "I have a couple extras in the closet. It's ok, really." And he walks into the closet for a few moments before walking back out. He held a small vial with a clear substance. I stared in curiosity as he unscrews the cap, lifts it to his lips, and drinks it. 

"See," He smiles at me sincerely. "Everything's ok." I nod smiling back feeling a little more calm. Lets hope that doesnt happen again...

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The cold breeze makes me shiver as I step out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my body. "I love that outfit." Xavier says with a smirk on his lips. Rolling my eyes at him, I walk into the closet. 

I walk back out In a cropped white tank top fit to my body. My pants were black jean shorts. Looking at the time on the clock, I realize I needed to take my pill. The pill.

Searching through my toiletries bag, I internally curse when I realize I forgot to buy some at the store. "Fuck me." I whisper under my breath. "Everything ok?" Xavier walks into the bathroom to grab his rings off the counter. Shit I never wanted to talk about this with him. Even though I take it to save us both.

"I um- I forgot," I sigh in frustration. "I forgot to buy my birth control..." I see Xavier tense next to me. He froze midway putting his rings on. It looked as if he had just thought of something. 

"Xavier? Is everything alright?" He swallows hard, and he looks at me. My anxiety shoots through the roof when I see his sorry face. He didnt do anything. Does he feel bad that I'm on it or that he hasnt been buying it for me?

"We need to talk Davina." With those words, he gently grabs my hand and we sit at the edge of the bed. Unknowingly, my leg starts bouncing. What was I nervous about? This conversation can't possibly be worse than the talk. That was a nightmare....

"Davina," His voice is low. And serious...

"You do realize I'm technically dead right?" We've talked about this before already... why are we speaking about it? 

After sending him a small nod he continues. "When we become vampires, we lose some abilities humans would have." ok......? "Like easy pain. We dont get hurt as easy. We also don't die and stay dead..." He stares at me as if trying to see if I've caught on. By the way I havent.

"Sorry, what does this have to do with my birth control?" He opens his mouth to speak but unlike earlier, I beat him to it. "Look I really should go to the store to buy the after pill. I dont want to wait and risk it." I begin to stand but Xavier pulls on my arm, sitting me back down.

"You dont need to take the pill Davina." I furrow my eyebrows at him. "Hell, I dont even need to use a fucking condom." I let out a small scoff. "Not to be mean or anything but, Im not ready to get pregnant..." Xavier shakes his head at me like Im stupid.

"Davina you can't get pregnant by having unprotected sex with me." Now I'm really confused. He holds my hands in his before speaking. "Humans have the ability to reproduce," My eyes dart to his. My breathing picks up. 

"Vampires....Vampires can't reproduce." There it is.... The world seems to stop, my heart seems to stop as well. Xavier's scanning my face for any bit of reaction, but I cant seem to stop staring down at nothing. 

"Oh..." Thats all I can bring myself to say. "Im so sorry, I have no- I have no fucking clue how it slipped my mind to tell you this." He's the one rambling now.

"Davina, I swear on my mother that I didnt mean to keep it from you. I swear I-" I cover his mouth. I give him a weak smile. "I know..." I suck my breathe in, and breathe out. "We may never be able to have-" I look down at the floor for a moment. Letting my heart understand what I'm about to say. 

"But all I need is you..." My hand glides from his mouth to his cheek. "I just want you." My heart is telling me 'what the hell?' but I tell it to shut up. Because it's true... I just want him. Only him. 

"You have me Davina..." He leans in, our lips connecting. Then he pulls back laying his head on mine. "You have all of me." 


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Well.... im lonely...

Sorry Tuesdays post is an hour late.... It's Fine.

See yall Friday!!!!!

Much love <3

Date posted: 8/3/2022

Words: 1293

Time posted: 12:20 am

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