Untimely Love (Book 3)

♤Chapter 15♤

On Monday, everyone knew. It felt like they did.

  I ended up spending the weekend in the hospital. It was the best decision at the time and I didn't regret it. My mom didn't have to deal with my sobbing when the pain kicked in and I started bleeding. And I didn't have to act like everything was fine; so she wouldn't worry too much.

  It gave me a lot of time to think, to feel everything I wanted to feel without having anyone I knew around, and for Doctor Leyton to do and say anything else she wanted without having to ask if I wanted my mother in the room.

  Going back to school on Monday wasn't something I wanted to do but I forced myself to. I was discharged, and I could walk so there was no reason not to go home and get ready for the next day. Until I caught people staring at me in all my classes.

  The only thing I could think was that they knew. Why else would they be staring? I pretended not to see the looks and blocked out the whispers. It wasn't like everybody who came across me did it, but it was enough for me to notice. I went to the bathroom multiple times to make sure I hadn't bled through my clothes. I didn't look my best so eventually, I chalked it up to that.

  I tried to block it all out until one detail smacked me in the face while I was trying to mind my business. It weighed on me all after second period until miraculously, there he was.

  My mind had already been made up about Jared. It was one of the things I thought a lot about in that hospital room. I hadn't seen him on Monday or Tuesday last week and we didn't have each other's numbers. I felt like he was ignoring me but I couldn't be too upset about it because I prayed he wouldn't come around anyway.

  As much as I liked him, guilt ate at me after what we did. I had no reason to be guilty but it was a gross feeling in the pit of my stomach that made me want to hide from him forever. We shouldn't have slept together and it's one of the things I couldn't take back that I desperately wanted to.

  It constantly made me sick over the weekend, whenever I thought about it. It wasn't because he horrible—he wasn't. He was sweet and took care of me, but knowing what I knew twisted it into something nasty. I was disgusted with myself and what I did.

  He saw me coming. I couldn't decipher his expression; he didn't look away, but he didn't look happy. He watched me, words falling short on his lips from whatever he was saying to the guy he was talking to.

  I could feel eyes on me—on us—but I kept going.

  "You have a girlfriend?"

  He didn't reply right away. Dread raged inside me and I pulled my sweater tighter around my shoulders before crossing my arms.

  "I'll..." the guy backtracked slowly. "I'll go, yeah."

  Even after he left, Jared didn't answer the question so I pushed. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

  He inhaled deeply, looked away, and turned back to me. I took that as his answer.

  It shouldn't hurt, but it did. It fucking ripped me apart. I heard girls gossiping today about if he was still with some chick and I would've ignored it. But it was the same name that came up three times. About how they saw them together last week at something, that they'd been together since last year.

  Whatever the fuck it was, I wanted to kill him. The worst part was I didn't know if I felt this way because he cheated on someone or I'd hoped the possibility of us could be real... Even after deciding that I was gonna cut him off anyway.

  "Are you fucking kidding?" My voice broke. There was so much I wanted to say to him but I couldn't even breathe right.

  He wasn't going to say anything, so I nodded and we both knew it was settled.