Untimely Love (Book 3)

♤♠Chapter 22♠♤

TW//: Mentions of suicide; depression

This is a long ass chapter. Take breaks if you need to.

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♤ARIANA♤

When my mom told me we'd be going to New York for Thanksgiving with my dad, I immediately dreaded it.

I'd missed him. I wanted to see him but I didn't want him to see me. Not for another few months. It was ridiculous. My father had this way of getting things out of me with only a look. That's what I was scared of. He was the only person on this earth I could confide in about anything and that's why I hadn't talked to him in weeks. Not even over the phone.

If I regretted pushing anyone away, it was him. I still wasn't ready to see or talk to him. My mom hadn't made it an option though.

It felt like a trillion needles pricking me from under my skin as we stood outside the familiar one-story brick house in the Bronx. He hadn't moved out of the house we'd lived in from when we were all together. It had been almost three and a half years and this was our first time having Thanksgiving together since.

I let my eyes trail down the lines of the white door in front of us, over the silver knob, across the brown brick and to the ferns on either side of the door. My right leg jerked furiously—and not because of the cold—while I took everything in.

It was the day before Thanksgiving and ten in the morning. We'd driven up today because she didn't want to have to deal with the traffic if we had left tomorrow morning. We were staying for the weekend and heading back on Sunday because mom needed to be back at work and me in school on Monday.

We heard him approach the door but surely I was the only one losing my shit on the inside. Just don't look directly into his eyes.

When my father opened the door and grinned at us, I couldn't deny the small spark of something bright inside my chest. Something I hadn't felt in a while, that I almost forgot what it was like. This trip wouldn't be so horrible if I kept feeling that at least.

"Don't just stand there," he said, his happiness too contagious, "show me some love?"

He swept me into a bear hug that left my duffel bag hanging awkwardly off my shoulder. My legs lifted off the ground and he didn't set me back down until I was on the opposite side of the threshold.

He pulled back and we smiled at each other.

"New cut, huh?" he said with an endeared smile. He ran his hand over my low-cropped hair, stopping at the nape of my neck. "I like it."

And all I could get out was, "Hi, dad." Words couldn't describe how much I missed him.

The strap of my bag fell off my shoulder and into my hand. I was about to toss it in the spot behind the door where the coat closet was, but he reached out and took it from me.

"Hey, kid. I'll go set this in your room okay?"

Shaking my head, I reached for it. "No, I can do it. I kinda wanna see if you messed the place up," I joked.

"Please," he retorted. "It's all the way you left it last time you were here. Only I changed the sheets for you. But-"

Mom cleared her throat from behind him, cutting off our banter. I pressed my lips together and he grimaced, then smiled as he turned toward her. I took the time to lean down and undo my boots, resting them against the wall close to the door when I got out of them.

"Latoya," he welcomed her, reaching for her bag. "Let me get that for you, baby." She let him and they shared a brief hug, him kissing her cheek.

I pointed over my shoulder with my thumb. "Imma go..." There was nothing weird about their greeting, this was usually how it went if we hadn't seen each other for a while. It was nice. I needed a minute to myself though.