Love Notes

Chapter 15

Annie is as pissed as I imagined when I break the news.

"You have got to be kidding me Izzy? Ten minutes? It took him ten minutes to talk you around!"

"Annie it's really not like that, I'm not rushing back to him pretending it didn't happen."

"No it's worse! You're going back to him thinking it will change. Are you really that naive?"

I don't really know what to say to that. Maybe she's right, but she could be wrong too.

"Well don't just stand there like that", she snaps as I stare at the ground between us, "you're making me feel like an asshole. Im not trying to be harsh, I just don't want you to get hurt again. You walked into my bar like a wounded animal Izzy, i don't want to see you have to do that again."

"No, I know, I'm sorry. Look I completely understand just how much drama this has been for you, and for Will. My life really isn't normally like this but if you don't wanna-"

"Don't even suggest it Izzy. You'll be playing right into his hands if you do. You drop me and then what? You're back where you began? No way. I don't have many friends and I like you. You're an idiot, but I like you."

"Thanks...I think."

"I know you don't know me all that well right now, but I'm not someone that can leave anyone vulnerable. That includes you. When that mess comes crashing down, and it WILL come crashing down, I'll be here, ready to help... and to say I told you so, because I just couldn't possibly help myself."

I really expected her to never want to see me again after all of this. In fact I was so prepared for it that I'm not even sure what to say to how she's responding, she really is special.

She starts to waver a little, possibly feeling guilty for chewing me out.
"I don't blame you for wanting to make it work Izzy. I just can't see it, but hey, prove me wrong...what do I know anyway right?"

"I really do love him Annie. I think we could be happy."

"That's the thing Izzy. You shouldn't have to think you can be happy with someone, it should just be something you are."

I take in what she's saying, but at the same time, I can't stand the idea that I've wasted these last few years. I lost my career and friends in the process too. If Jamie and I can make it, it might just be worth the cost of everything else.

The drive back to Annie's apartment is filled with uncomfortable silence. As she pulls up to a stop light, she finally mentions the person we've both been thinking of.

"Do you want to tell Will yourself or should I?"

I give her a look that loosely translates to 'yes dear god don't make me tell him', and she understands immediately.

"Yeah, that's probably best. He's not going to take it well." 
I don't ask her to elaborate, we both know why.

She keeps her eyes on the road the rest of the way to her place, and makes me promise to call her over the next few days so she knows things are okay. We make plans to see each other next week before we say our goodbyes.

I have every intension of keeping Annie in my life, her little speech about playing into Jamies hands cemented that. I like her, she's a good person and I need someone like that on my side. I don't care how uncomfortable it will make Jamie that she knows his little secret. Maybe it might even keep him in check a little.

                            ———————

Back at the hotel I take a seat on the bed, contemplating the decision I've made. Is it a good one? Will Jamie really listen to what I've said? Will he change? All questions that I really won't have the answer to unless I try with him.