Daddy

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I woke up with Sam's hand open on my face, it made me laugh so hard I almost woke her up. I feel like I actually slept...for a while. My head is slightly woozy, and my body feels rested. I am looking around her bedroom and I take into full consciousness this life created around this child that didn't previously exist and suddenly just became mine. She has many cut-out pictures of hockey players on the walls, and some drawings too. There are teddies everywhere and a bookshelf from the floor to the ceiling full of colorful books. Her games are all over the floor, we played with everything, especially the cool train set that goes around the room. I get to be a kid for a while again, enjoying the thing I never had myself.

Last night after dinner, the three of us lay in Sam's bed as Charly read stories to us. I couldn't believe my stroke of luck, like winning all the world's lotteries at once. I was exhausted from not sleeping properly the night before, I was too comfortable with Sam's head on my shoulder, my eyes got heavy, and I couldn't stay up after she fell asleep. I felt Charly's lips on mine, I felt her caressing my face fondly as she covered us with a blanket. I had to keep reminding myself that this will be my life, that I am home lastly.

I step into the kitchen; Charly is cutting some weird-looking bread. She glances at me with a timid smile. We lock eyes as the light pours in, still feeling odd, especially since we usually get comfortable physically first and there is this space between us. But she quickly walks my way as I peer around once more. I am unsure of how things are, and it is new to me, she can tell. She doesn't hesitate, she hugs me for a while, feeling her acute inhale. She makes my knees weak; her embrace is solid and lasting. I am still waking up and what can I say? I am lost in this illusion that I'm actually living one of my fantasies. I feel strange but it is starting to feel familiar now.

"Did you sleep well?" she murmurs.

"Soundly well."

"Does it feel weird?" she asks, moving her head back to look at me.

"Yeah, very, very, weird and... yet...finally normal," I respond as she beams sweetly. Her skin is darker now, she lets the sun in for sure. Her lips are redder than before and her long loose hair is way wilder, I guess she used to straighten it all the time. It's uneven and slightly wavy at the end, flimsy still. Her sleepy eyes are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, how many mornings have I leered at her in awe naked in bed sleeping next to me. When she would open them and see me watching, she would smile and that's what I thought life was about, having someone who is happy to be the first thing to see in the morning.

"Coffee?" She asks, and she places the kettle on the burner as I sit at the table.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask her. She glimpses down, grinning to herself.

"I actually slept through the night. I don't usually do that. I get up a few times and struggle to go back to sleep. Before I fell asleep, I sort of had this feeling that Sam was okay. I always wake up to check on her. We live far away and alone, and it can be stressful at night sometimes. It was as if the entire house was peaceful... and... safe..." She shakes her head smiling even bigger.

My phone buzzes and the annoyance on my face, she sees it.

"It's work. It's too early for this."

"Answer. Ignoring it is just going to stretch it and make it more annoying."

"I know. I guess I should head back soon. I was thinking last night about what you said, and you are right, there is no rush. I can make a slow transition and see it all through and clear my head properly."

"Well, now you know where to find us," she replies, turning back around to the kettle.

I stand up and approach her from behind. I just kiss the back of her head, taking a hit of the perfume of her hair as she leans back to find me.

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