Unexpected lovers [Lauren/You]

Chapter 37

It would be easy huh? What would? Jumping off of the cliff, this is your favourite place in the world, everytime something is bothering you, you and Alex come here to figure it out. There is nothing to figure out here, I'm done. So you are thinking about it? I'm not going to lie, that thought crosses my mind every second as I'm standing here on the edge. It would be so easy, dying I mean, just you know? The darkness? I don't think that death is the end. I don't either, but it sounds so tempting. I think that death is just another beginning. And that, that sounds perfect. You're drunk. Get away from the edge. I might be down but I ain't down forever, I'll pick myself up just wait and see.

I walk towards the car slowly, watching the city lights in the process. You can't drive drunk. Watch me. There are other innocent people on the road right now, driving home after a long day, hoping that they will see their families soon, but if an asshole like you will cross their path, they will have nothing waiting on the other side, just darkness.

Is it weird that I want to feel this pain? Is it weird that I think I deserve this? I deserve it beacuse I am so stupid to let her back inside my life over and over again, damn Y/N, suffer, suffer because you're a sucker for her. You see green inside her eyes and you're stuck again. It's not weird, you're just sad. Mad darling, I am mad.

No, you're sad. That's why you're drinking your ass off. I'm going to walk to Clare's house. That's probably not the best idea coming from you. I don't care what's the best for me right now.

Your phone is vibrating for more than an hour now. I know, I can feel it. Well? Well? Take it out. Ew not here, the trees can see it. I am not talking about your dick. You're not? No. What were we talking about a few seconds ago? About, Dinah's baby? No asshole. About your phone. Take it out. Don't write anything, just take it out.

Dad: I saw the documents on your table, Y/N please tell me you didn't read them?

Y/N: Fuckkkkk yoooooou, you lame excuse of a fatherrr.dkkdos

I told you not to write anything. And I didn't. Well, who did then? My fingers?

Dinah: I left a million messages already, we are worried about you, come on girl. At least write an "I'm fine Dj" message to me.

Y/N: Imsbjd finek Dj9, mesagex to me...

Dinah: Is that supposed to make me feel better? Cuz it doesn't, you're drunk out of your mind aren't you?

Y/N: Jsju drunkkkk? Maaah? Nah.

Dinah: You can't even write properly.

Y/N: Of course I can, watch me.

Dinah: Yeah. That message took you 10 minutes to write... I wonder why. Y/N tell me where you are and we'll come for you?

Y/N: I'll be fine.

Dinah: Y/N.

Y/N: Dinah.

I laugh at our conversation as I start walking towards Clare's house. It took me some time to reach it, I met a few nice pavements, one pretty bush, a lot of kind trees that loved my hugs, one bird who hated my haircut. As I am standing in front of Clare's house I am trying my best to ring the bell properly, my fingers don't seem to work fine. After a few silent moments there is a young girl on the other side of the doors.

"Maddie baby, you're so big!" I say to her as I squeeze her cheeks.

"That's because I am not Maddie, I am her babysitter." I look at her suspiciously and Maddie comes running down the stairs, at least I think that's Maddie.