Silent Love (PUBLISHED)

Chapter 11...

Above is some fan art the sweet @lilyclare_ made for me. I love it! Shows Carter's love for drawing, her friendship with Macey, Luke and her, and even her and Ethan. Thank you so much! <3 

Song above is Vapor by 5 Seconds Of Summer. It is literally one of my favorites from their new album and thought it fit with Carter and Ethan :)

Enjoy! 

The barbecue went on without a hitch. Everyone talked over each other and like every get together, teasing and of course childhood stories were told. Being around my family made me relax and forget about my stupid plan to make Ethan jealous. We all ate until we couldn't but when my mom came out with a cinnamon roll cake none of us said no.

In a way my mom was like going to my grandparents. Whenever we visited them my grandma would feed us until our clothes didn't fit us anymore. It was like an unwritten thing that whenever you went to your grandparents house you will never leave hungry. My mom was just like my grandma right now. Every single person was groaning over how much we ate, even Luke and Ethan who usually never got full.

It went by too quick for me even though we stayed until 10 that night. Conversation was getting dry and with everyone yawning every few seconds we knew it was time to go. Plus we had a good 30 minute drive back to campus. After we said bye to my parents, Kacey and Nick, we all got in Luke's Jeep before heading back in silence.

That happened yesterday and currently I am in the school's library finishing up my homework for the week to come. The library was bigger than I imagined and was a good 5 floors. Each floor was designated for certain genres along with rows of computers and tables for students to do homework on.

I was on the top floor with my English textbook in front of me, a couple of notebooks that were for my math and psychology classes, my art notebook was off to the side of the table as well, and finally my laptop. I was literally taking up most of the table and was glad no one else was near me. I probably didn't need to do most of my homework today but I did not want to get behind on the first week of school.

It was nearing 3:30 in the afternoon and I had been here since 11 this morning. Slumping back in my chair I rubbed my forehead feeling a headache blooming. Slowly I twirled in the chair, they had the coolest and most comfortable chairs. There were a few couches a couple of feet away from me and I knew they were probably really comfortable. They must be considering a guy was passed out on it.

My head was hurting from all the homework and reading I have done. On top of that I was tired from being up all night thinking of Aunt Kacey's advice. The plan to get Ethan jealous wouldn't leave my head. Sure I wanted to know if he felt the same way I did but at the same time I didn't want to use someone to do so. That was just cruel using someone for someone else. In some ways it was a good plan but I didn't know if it would work or if it did what would happen?

All these 'what if's' kept flashing through my mind, even right now. It was stupid to keep thinking about it but it seemed like it wouldn't go away until I officially decided. Sure last night I had wanted to go through with it but my rational side kicked in.

Why I was even thinking this I don't know. I just barely started college last week how could I think about getting a boyfriend. I should just be thinking about school, not boys. I let out a groan under my breath as I tried to silence my thoughts.

"Hey." A voice said above me. I glanced up to see Amy standing by the side of the table.

"Hey." I sat up. I haven't seen Amy since the other night when we had dinner. I wanted to believe that she was busy with school and cheerleading but for some reason I couldn't shake the feeling that it was a lie.