The A Side ✔

14- Scared For My Future

As someone dealing with Anxiety, your thoughts can change anywhere, anytime. But the major issue with my Anxiety is the fear of what the future holds because life can throw you curveballs. Some minor, some major ones but when your fears start to take over your everyday life, your mood lowers, your confidence drops and your emotions get fragile. I think lots of people are worried about what the future may hold. I'll be sharing with you some of my future fears which may look simple but in all truth, they're not.

Money

This is a big one, I watch the news every single day and have been reading newspaper since the age of 10 but what really worries me is financial security. It is quite likely that I'll never be able to afford a deposit for a house or a flat because prices are soaring. I live in quite a highly desired part of England where there is currently a long waiting list for a house and major increases in prices for new builds. I know that paying bills will scare me since I have no idea how to pay one yet alone fill out a cheque. The education I received on this was minimal, only one lesson. It's ridiculous.

Health

My Anxiety does play up a lot at the worst times but when it does strike, my muscles seize up and walking is painful for me. I seriously don't want to end up in a wheelchair :( 

Education

I have plans to go to University, I believe going to one would help me feel more confident and be independent but after my last attempts stalled due to bullying by people on my BTEC course, the bullying may start up again and that really scares me.

I do have more but I don't want to share them all with you, some are too personal to mention publicly but everyday at some point, I will experience a drop in mood. It could be first thing in the morning, last thing at night, out eating lunch with my parents on a day out. Then all of these fears will start to haunt me and they come back with past experiences that were negative and really don't want to remember but sadly do. My Mum is quick to notice a change in me, when my Anxiety was first dismissed as hormonal, my confidence really dropped to sub-zero degrees but when attitudes after a while started to change, it become obvious it was and still is quite a serious issue.

I actually find writing about my fears at times to scare me more so that is why this part is quite short. The one part after this will talk about my present day fears. So, I invite you guys to join me on the next part where you are more than welcome to start a discussion about fears.