What happened to Thomas Barrow ⎹ Downton Abbey⎹ Explicit 18+⎹ M/M⎹ Gay ♥ FanFic⎹

Parenting

Thomas waited and waited, but no one came down for breakfast. No one rang for him. He completed his tasks, rushed to his office and slid down his chair, holding his head in his hands and fighting the urge to weep.

After lunch, he went outside. The sun was shining bright and made his eyes squint in pain. He smoked one cigarette. Then another. It was now two o'clock. He wasn't hiding. He wasn't running away. He would explain and he would leave. If need be. Behind him, something moved. He pivoted on his heel. Her Ladyship stood before him, eyes dark and small from lack of sleep. Thomas held his breath.

"Thomas," she said. She seemed weary, and sad. He came up to her, brow furrowed, anxiety plain on his face.

She pointed at his cigarette and he offered her one. She filled her lungs with long drags of smoke, eager as if she hadn't had one in years.

"What can I do, my Lady?" He would keep his sentences short and neutral and see how much she knew already.

She shrugged. "I'm exhausted."

"What happened?"

"He had a rough night."

Thomas looked away. He wanted to know and he wanted to help but he didn't want her to find out what happened if Adam hadn't said anything last night.

"He told me you're not his valet anymore," she resumed.

Thomas shook his head. "No, I'm not. He wants someone else."

She chewed her lips, eyeing him with her inquisitive green eyes. "It's probably best."

Thomas nodded with a sigh. "Who's to dress him until he finds a replacement?"

"He doesn't want anyone for the moment. He'll find a way to dress himself, don't worry. It's 1927. Even our people manage."

She threw her cigarette and took a few steps towards the house. She paused.

"Thomas, dearest?" she asked, as she turned to him.

"My Lady?"

"Leave him alone now."

She hadn't spoke harshly, but the expression in her eyes showed she meant it.

*

Thomas didn't see his Lordship for several days. No one asked him to do anything in particular for him. Esther had seen him since he had retreated to her Ladyship's bedroom, but Thomas didn't want to ask and insist and draw suspicion to him. He heard her tell Agathe that "M'lord has been sick but now he's up and walking and gazing out of windows." Thomas had rushed outside to take a look at her Ladyship's windows but the curtains were drawn.

Three days had passed when Thomas had the surprise to find him downstairs for breakfast. He was at the table, vulnerable looking, like a wounded bird, sitting there with his hands on his lap and the thoughtful expression of a man who's had a night filled with nightmares.

Thomas came in and they looked at each other, Thomas suppressing the urge to leap forward - and hold him close and ask if he was okay and if they could talk and if he could do anything to make his pain go away- and Adam staring blankly back, a worried and embarrassed look printed on his face.

The look of a man who's had too much to drink and regretted the things he did last night, thought Thomas.

"My Lord..." He began, stepping forward.

Adam shifted uncomfortably on his chair and fixed his eyes on his plate. Her Ladyship came in. The bright smile on her face died when she noticed the two men and their awkward silence.