Find My Way Home (Bulldogs MC #4)

13: Stockholm Syndrome

^^ Smiler ^^

I don't know what came over me. I think I'm going to blame it on temporary insanity, or a reaction to all the crazy that's been happening around here lately. Because when Smiler realised it was Adam at the front door, he stood there scowling at him. After the whole debacle at the hospital with the 'you thought I was a virgin' stuff, and Lenni blurting out that I'd slapped Adam, of course, Smiler would look at him like that, and of course, Lenni would panic and try and warn us off. So, it was completely expected for me to pull Adam into a kiss and declare that he was with me, right? Except it wasn't expected at all. Not by Lenni and Smiler, who looked both shocked and disgusted. Not by Adam, who looked shocked but pleased. And definitely not by me. So I totally panicked and dragged him to my bedroom. And now he's sitting on the end of my bed, watching me pace and looking somewhere between being confused to all hell, and being entirely amused.

I pause in my pacing and turn to look at him. "Sorry," I say, biting my bottom lip and rocking on my heels. "I, uh, I don't really know what came over me."

He chuckles and shakes his head. "I'm not complaining, Rob," he says, and I almost wish he was because then I'd know what to do.

"I know. I just didn't expect that to happen. For me to, uh..." I trail off and he moves to stand in front of me.

"To kiss me?" he asks, smiling when I nod. "Did you want to?"

I frown. "Yeah, I wouldn't have done it if I didn't. I just don't know what it means."

He sighs and tilts my chin up, forcing me to look him in the eye. "It doesn't have to mean anything."

"My head's a mess. I don't wanna get distracted, I want to focus on school," I tell him.

"You can. I'm not going to distract you."

I groan and start my pacing again. "We've only got a year, and then you're going to Stanford –"

"If I get in," he interrupts, and I scoff.

"You'll get in. But you'll be going to California for college, and I'll be here in Arizona. And long distance doesn't work –"

"It can," he interrupts again, making me sigh.

"Yeah, it can. But it's not what I want. I don't want to have a long distance relationship."

"Robin, listen to me. You're worrying about stuff that hasn't happened yet and isn't going to happen for over a year. Why not just live in the now? I like kissing you; I want to do it again. I want to do it a lot. I'm not expecting you to marry me and give up your dreams. I just don't see what's wrong with being with me now, while we're both here. In a year we can go our separate ways. You go to college here, I go to Cali, no hard feelings."

I look up at him and tilt my head. "You think it'll be that easy? To just walk away after a year?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. We might not even last the year. You might get fed up with me long before then. Or I might get fed up with you –"

I snort. "Unlikely," I say with a grin, and he shakes his head and chuckles.

"We're young. There's no point planning our futures down to the last detail, or not doing something 'cos it doesn't fit with the plan. Let's just be. No matter what, I'll always be your friend, and I hope you'll be mine too."

I nod. "I will.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I say with a smile.

He takes a step towards me and tilts my chin up. "Okay then. I really wanna kiss you again."

"Right now?" I ask, but it comes out as a breathy sigh.