The Suffering Of Tate Langdon

Chapter 18: Unleashed

I don't know why, but I was back here, back in the one place I wish never existed in this house. The dark atmosphere, the horrible memories of what I used to do myself there, the loneliness, it's a painful thing to experience all over again. The basement is full of disgusting things, the Infantata, lies, horror, insanity, all of the things dug their ways into my head, causing me to nearly lose faith in everything. I remember rolling around in a corner, like a helpless child, like a mental patient at an asylum, like a freak with stage fright. I remember watching Nora as she tried to look for me, always forgetting that I could easily disappear from anyone, from anything, as long as that's what I wanted. A basement is a ghostly place, where the true monsters lie, where the predators prowl around, waiting for their next victim, If Taint wasn't inside of me, if he was a real spirit, I think this is where he'd hide from the world. I contemplated coming down here, but I had this feeling inside like I was being drawn here, perhaps that's the reason I'm here, or maybe, maybe it's something else, something much worse.

I stare at the concrete wall of the basement, and the conditions of them, well, the conditions I left them in. The dry blood inside of the dents catches my attention, and I couldn't help but lose myself in the sight. The violence admitted in this room, the constant violence, self-harm, all of it, it begins to flush my mind, and it hurts more than I could describe. The memories, the memories of bashing my fists into the wall until my bones show, the slitting of my wrists, the rolling in a corner, all of it pains my mind, making it numb and lessening it with hope. I swear I hear that voice again, the voice of the bastard that turned me into a monster, the voice of the sadistic thing inside of me.
"Glad to see we're back here. Are you going to start our punishment again?"
"Shut up!" I say to myself, trying hard to keep myself together.
"How can I? We're the same, remember? Same mind, same body, same soul. You can't get rid of me!"
"I can, Taint. I know I can, all I have to do is get close to her, and you disappear."
"What? You're little Violet, she can't save you, you know. In fact, she's the reason I inhabited your mind in the first place, you were lonely and I was there, I was the one who tried to help you. NOT HER!"
I laugh sadistically, specifically to myself, and for some reason, I couldn't care if someone saw me. He's fucking with my mind, causing me to question myself, deeply question myself. Am I crazy? I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm god damn crazy! I have to get out of here.

I struggle to the find the stairs of the basement, my eyes are struggling to keep open. What the hell is happening to me? Violet, help me, Violet! I need you more than anything right now.
"She's not coming for you! She's abandoned you!"
"Shut. Up."
"She won't help you, Tate. Let me in and I'll help, I'm going to force my way in any way, it might as well be for something."
"I'm not going to let you in! You'll hurt people!" I scream.
"Only the people who have hurt us, they deserve it, and they will suffer for what they've done!"
My eyes clear enough for me to see the stairs, the everlasting freedom. I can already feel my heart begin to calm when I head towards there, and Taint's voice has already disappeared from my head. The freedom, I can already taste it, feel it, smell it, It's between my fingertips and I love that it's in my control. I'm close to the stairs, ready to find myself from this hell, that's until I hear a hissing noise behind me.

I turn quickly, seeing it, seeing the one creature that would want to stay down here, away from everyone else. Nora's demon, Thaddeus, sits perched in front of me like a rabid dog, starting with its dark eyes and smelling with its beastly nose. I haven't seen this creature since I banished myself to the basement not so long ago, he was only there for a couple minutes at a time, which is good, the little fucker gives me the absolute creeps. Thaddeus, I wonder what he could've been, but then again, if he and the Montgomery family didn't die, I wouldn't have moved here and eventually died, a small death could really change the course of history. But here it is, sitting in front of me like a domesticated animal, and I'm standing in front of it, desperately trying to keep my cool with this thing. But does it understand communication? Social skills? Anything from it's passed as a human? No, probably not, he died before he could learn any natural human skills.

"Thaddeus? Can you hear me?" I ask it, but with no form of response. I don't even though if he can hear me right now, let alone understand me. All it does is stare at me, emotionless and silent, but not the good type of silent, a suspenseful type. Why is he even here, I'm not the one who helps it anymore, it needs to find it's own blood. It's supposed to be a predator, but it happens to be the worst one in the world, terrible at hunting for itself, terrified of others, If it wasn't dead, it would surely starve to death. I don't even know why it needs blood when it's dead, the dead don't need food, they only eat it because it makes us feel human again, maybe it's the same for Thaddeus, maybe it wants to feel something, something that makes it feel alive.
"I'm sure you can hear me, but I need you to know that I can't help you anymore. I can't be the one to give you blood, you need to know that, I'm not a killer anymore, I won't kill for you! YOU UNDERSTAND!"

The creature lunges at me, reacting to my screaming voice, but not in the way I wanted it to. I should've kept my cool, should've made myself calm because I could've saved myself from what I know is going to happen next. Thaddeus' lunge results in his claws attempting to slash my throat, but I was somehow too quick, dodging its lethal attack. But I was unable to completely dodge its attack, and its claws slicing my wrist violently, causing blood to spurt onto the ground. The creature attempts to lunge at me again, but this time, I grip its neck, tight enough to hear its spine begin to crack. The rage, it's like a temperature hot enough to crack any thermometer, makes good people, cruel and aggressive, and I'm in the middle of the flame, feeling it burn. The creature tries to squirm its way out of my grip, but with no luck, instead, I throw it to the ground, hard enough to make sure it doesn't get up.

Now, I'm alone in the room, stuck with the uncontrollable rage I have inside of me. The fever, the sickness, it's swallowing me like a giant whale, and I'll stick in the darkness of its belly. But I feel my rage is too strong, strong enough to break even the strongest of men, the scariest of creatures, the most fearsome fears, anything feels possible when I feel like this. I can destroy anything, anyone, I feel like I'm back in the Noble War, I know what I can do, but nobody can stop me, not even myself. The darkness takes over so quickly, there are no warnings, no nothing, no feeling of pain, not yet anyway. I punch the wall, cracking the entire thing, something I've never done anything like that in my entire existence. I shake at the feeling of the cold, broken wall on my fist, but there's no blood or anything, just pure carnage. But that's when I see it, the tattoos forming on my fist once again, the Tainted force that easily swallows me like I'm a mere pill. I stare at the dark markings, fearing it, hating it, but then, loving it. I can feel my skin begin to burn, Taint is consuming me, causing me to scream. I try to fight it, but this time, it seems so impossible, and I fear that I'm no longer in control of my body and that he is going to hurt someone, indefinitely.