High School

8

Natalia's p.o.v
~
Liberty stood in front of the microphone talking to all of the seniors, this school was huge and it was a lot of us. There were tons of kids that came this year and that had left. I had front row seats sitting next to Bennett and Asher, but Asher was too busy reading books not paying attention to the rally. Bennett still seemed pretty upset from earlier and I hated when we fought, we were friends! Why couldn't people fucking put aside the negative and try to live life to its fullest? I rolled my eyes trying to focus on liberty's voice but I think back at amethyst. She didn't deserve all the hate on her first day of school, I'm pretty sure she was already a stressed and I didn't know why they added on.

I think back at Amethyst blushing at Bennett stepping in helping her out. She seemed to like him, no girl would blush or stare at a guy like that. I look at Bennett, he's not bad looking. She had good taste, but Bennett wasn't the type to express on who he liked. She seemed really into him and it made me kinds jealous because she seemed like she was in love with this man. I snicker , Bennett In love is rare. I'm not saying she didn't have a chance or that I liked him but she'd have to persuade him. "What are you laughing at?" Bennett says as I look at him.

"I think Amethyst likes you." I say making us both laugh. He shook his head as I bite down on my lip not wanting to cause to much noise. "I'm being serious, Bennett! When you came in she blushed and looked at you like you were the only one alive."

"Really , Natalia." He replies "Amethyst is a girl I would never fall for. She's too... much."

"How so?"

"She's a ho." He replies "If it wasn't for her quiet personality I wouldn't be friends with her. I mean , she slept with Kyle knowing he's with Layla. Imagine me with her and a guy hits on her? She'll come back pregnant."

"Don't say that." I say "She's not that bad."

"She slept with half of the football and basketball team, she's had more then 5 boyfriends in a year, she always brags about her sex stories." He says "Don't fall for that innocent act she plays."

"Everyone is a ho to you."

"No." He smiles "Only liberty and Layla, they are sluts who I'm friends with." He suddenly looks at me as if I was hiding a secret. "Everyone seems to have secrets, what's yours? Your always...quiet about who you like or your boyfriends."

I bite down on my lip. My father said no to having boyfriends but I only had 2 in my life, they were total fuckboys. I wasn't open with my life, like the rest of my friends. How could I explain that what my dad would do to me? How would I live on knowing that my friends knew it. It was embarrassing living with an addict and a rapist, it made me ashamed but it wasn't something I was ever going to share. I would always keep this part of my life to myself, no matter how hard it got. "There's nothing really to share." I respond.

He looks at me with a stare that shows more interest in my answer. He wanted to push further but I wasn't in the mood to cry about it, I turn my head back at the cheerleaders dancing with the crowd roaring. I smile wide seeing libertys happy self dancing to the blasting music, she really was beautiful. I think back at my father and mother who I haven't seen in a week , my smile fading. The crowd roared more as the cheerleaders formed into one line leaning on one another moving there hips, I wanted to leave. I got the feeling that I was the only one that wasn't cheering for them, I was just too deep in thought.

I feel Bennett's hard rest on mine as I look into his comforting eyes , "You know if there's anything I'm here right?" He says seeing my pained eyes. I wanted to scream and cry into his arms , there's no help for me Bennett. I'm just another depressed teen that hides it, you'd walk past me in the hallway and won't even know I'm suffering. How I can I live on? I don't think I'll make it past this year , Bennett. I want to die, I really do. No one understands how this pain eats you alive, no one understands how it is to feel this everyday of your life , sometimes for nothing. Maybe it's because that's what I am-nothing. Maybe that's why I want to end my life, Bennett. I'm crying out for help can't you see the fear? Can't you see Bennett ? I'm dead inside. Why can't you hear me screaming? Why can't you hear me? Am I not loud enough? Do I have to show you more? Do I?

I show him a reassuring smile , "I'm fine." I said feeling my chest feel heavy "Don't worry about me, I'm just sad that this is our last year together before we go to college."

He studies me for a couple of seconds trying to determine if I was lying or not but the happy smile I put on my face seemed to assure him. He put his arm around me pulling me close to his body. I felt his body heat on mine, I rest my head on his strong chest making me feel safe, now I know what Amethyst thinks about. I sigh deeply as he holds me tightly , we both were staring at the principle congratulating us on how far we made it. I end up blocking out the crowd and the principal noise , I didn't want to listen to this bullshit. I just wanted to go back home and pretend I'm numb.