Skeleton Reviews

Papercuts| -queen_of_sass

Book Title: Papercuts
Client: LifeAsKashvi
Reviewer: @queen_of_sass
Chapters read: All 3

Title: I definitely like the meaning behind the title, and the blurb along with it provides a good explanation. It is very lyrical, however, it's not very original as it gets lost in the sea of books on wattpad with the same name.

Cover: It's a simple cover and aesthetically pleasing to the eye. However, it gives us nothing what to the story is about and feels a tad to dull. I think the saturation can be upped, the girl, Lilly Collins, made bigger and brighter, and perhaps for a final touch, have a ripped piece of paper on it and the title on it, to make your title and cover link you to your story.

Blurb: Not very attractive and can be phrased much, much better. The initial quote does not flow with the idea of the second paragraph and the third one seems very cliche with the game of life concept. The 'suuuuuure' is also very unprofessional. Try something like :

"Just be happy."

Easier said than done, isn't it? For one to be happy, one must be free of pain.

Papercuts. A simple word. A hundred feelings. A small papercut stings a lot more than a big wound. That's how life is. It doesn't hit you all at once. It trickles in small amounts until one day it is what you are swimming in and you do not know when it ends.

That was my first excuse. A papercut. Who knew something so small could grow into something so much bigger? Much, much bigger.

Grammar:

Your story took me like three tries to read simply because of this one simple error. This:

'Shut UP." I say a little louder as if it could hear. "Sweetie, are
you alright?" My mom calls from downstairs. "Yes I am fine, Mom"

It's not the exact context but this is NOT how dialogue works. Every time a new person speaks, you start a new line. So it's like this:

'Shut UP," I say a little louder as if it could hear.

"Sweetie, are you alright?" my mom calls from downstairs.

"Yes, I am fine, Mom."

The second way is both grammatically correct and allows us to envision the speaker properly. Having it as a huge chunk makes it hard to differentiate who is speaking as it is just dialogue after dialogue without a clear distinction of speakers. Please fix this soon. The second chapter was SO hard to read because I didn't know who was speaking, her or Arden or who exactly. It was just chunks of dialogues without any distinction.

You also have several tense shifts here and there, from present to past and missing commas, especially for dialogue.

Description:

The very first chapter is loaded with description... and not in a flattering way. You just list all of her friends and start to describe
them. No. That's the first thing of being a writer. Never tell where you can show, and avoid large paragraphs after paragraphs of
description of characters, as a reader I could not care less about. Speaking from a reader's perspective here, you just rat off a bunch of characters look, personality and names and all I am thinking is: Why should I care?

This is where showing comes in. Perhaps have a school scene inserted. Show us all of her friends. Show us the different character traits. Do not list them out like this, because readers will glaze right over it. The very key factor and core of a good novel is : characters. Why should I root for so and so character? What makes her strong? What makes her weak? What kind of people does she surround herself with? You say Maeve is wearing a soccer jersey. Maybe in the school scene have her come up all sweaty to her friends and have the rest grimace. Autumn is warm? Show us her smile. Does it cause a buxx to hum through your skin? Does she make you want to hug her? Show us. Don't tell us this.