Skeleton Reviews

Her Addiction| -HazieGray

Skeleton: @HazieGray
Client: UntarnishedForever
Book Title: Boys: Her Addiction
Chapters Read: 7

Cover:
I am not a fan of this cover style, but it does suit the genre of your story. I would recommend changing the people on the cover although because the way they were described wasn't anything like what the cover depicts.

Summary/Blurb:
I'm glad that you updated your summary as I was actually going to suggest that you shorten it. The way it is now written I wouldn't change anything about it. It draws the reader in and for me, made me really want to read it.

Title:
This title somewhat irks me. I would definitely suggest something more professional sounding perhaps? This one just seems a bit cliche. Even just changing it to Her Addiction would be a step up in my opinion and to me actually related to the story much better as there are other things she is addicted to aside from boys.

Descriptions/Scenery:
Your descriptions are written well and thoroughly. I have no suggestions for you in this area because I feel that you perfectly described the characters as well as the world around them.

Literary Devices:
I found that you used a perfect amount of literary devices. Some people make their writing too flowery in an attempt to sound poetic, but you have done well at giving your story a very good balance.

Sentence Flow/Pacing:
Honestly it took me a second to get into your writing style, but once I got used to the characters voice I couldn't stop reading. The pacing was spot on and I felt that you gave a good bit of information while still being able to progress the story forward without it getting boring.

As far as sentence flow I felt that sometimes there was almost too much description between speaking and I felt that it sort of slowed the sentence flow in my opinion.

An example of this is in chapter 2 when you are describing the dining room. It just goes on way too long and is almost a bit repetitive.

Originality:
I don't typically read books that are in this genre so I may be incorrect, but I found this to be an original concept especially in the fact that a female is the sexual deviant in the story. Beyond that I found her character to be extremely original just on her own. Her way of thinking along with her actions made her unique.

Characters:

antagonist- I couldn't tell who the main antagonist is so you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I found it to be her heart. This is something else that to me made this so original, I really liked how you made her heart almost like another person that she is battling and having conversations with. It was also neat that you gave her heart its own distinct voice as though it were another separate character.

protagonist- She was developed on a level that is quite amazing. Her thoughts and overall voice were so distinct that I felt as though she were real as I was reading. I wouldn't change anything about her.

sides- This is the only area that I think that you could improve. It is great that you have the antagonist and the protagonist feel real, but the sides were lacking drastically in comparison. They seemed to all blend together and none really stuck out to me or felt real. If you could work on giving them a little bit of their own distinctive voices it would add so much to your book.

Grammar:
Your grammar was impeccable, I would almost say that it was flawless. Mistakes were far and few between besides a few misspellings or minor errors. Everything I saw could be corrected easily with a little editing.

One thing that did stand out to me that isn't necessarily incorrect is that I feel your writing would be so much easier to read if you made it clear when she was having a dialogue "heart".

For example:

"And from the same place he and Jessica are burning you from inside now," My heart utters.

I hold back my tears, "It's okay as long as I can be by his side..."

To clean it up I would have it read in italics so that it is understood when she is physically speaking and when she is having an internal dialogue with her heart.

And from the same place he and Jessica are burning you from inside now, My heart utters.

I hold back my tears,It's okay as long as I can be by his side...

Realism:
Aside from the main character being a high society girl with laid back parents I found this to be realistic enough. The situations were realistic along with the characters reactions. To make it more realistic and a little less cliche I would suggest having the parents being a little more strict with her maybe? Especially since she is so young.

Anything Else:
I would definitely rate this book mature as well as making it maybe 16+ as I found it to be centered around very adult themes. I personally would feel uncomfortable with my teenager reading something with this content. There were some points where even I felt a tad bit uncomfortable and I'm an adult.

In addition to this, I would possibly make her character a little older. Her speech as well as her way of thinking are that of someone who would be more in the 16-18 age range.

This is all just my humble opinions though so you can take it with a grain of salt. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and will be continuing to read it as you update.