Skeleton Reviews

Ravenmyth| -Lila-Mina

Skeleton: Lila-Mina
Client: @Camhammer
Book title: Ravenmyth
Chapters read: 1-3 (all available)

Cover: The design you picked is beautiful. I don't know if you made it or found it, but it's a very good one. Your cover is missing both the title and your name, though. Don't forget to add them! This is such an important way to make a powerful impression on potential readers. They should remember your name and the book's title.

Summary/blurb: Your blurb is currently more of a hook/pitch than a summary. Those three sentences are good and grabbed my attention, but I recommend adding a couple of paragraphs under them to introduce your story or main characters in a bit more details.
Also, you can use this space to add content warnings for mature themes (gore, violence, anything relevant). It's important given the audience on WP (a lot of underaged readers), and the fact that those triggers can bother many readers in general.

Title: As far as it's a good match for your design cover, you title is appropriate. But you could add a subtitle to give more hints as to what readers will get.

Description/scenery: Well, you're certainly excellent at describing horrific and gorish scenes! The first chapter draws us in immediately, and I wanted to read more right away. Many details, great insight into the emotional state of characters. I'm a bit squeamish when it comes to gore, but I survived.
I liked how you described the vast and threatening environment your characters evolve in in the second chapter. The cold and harsh conditions pop up from the pages, and you breathed life into the building and places. Excellent battle scenes as well: not just the action, but also the way the characters feel and react. Very vivid and realistic.

Use of literary devices: Excellent!

Sentence flow/pacing: Your writing style is efficient and powerful. Your sentence variation matches the pace of the plot. Good work.

Originality: Well, I've read a few fantasy books, and while it's just the start of your story, I can sense that with your excellent writing alone, this is going to be an excellent and original story. I would need to read a bit more to see if you rely on too many clichés or tropes, but I've got a feeling that there won't be many of those.

Characters: I don't know yet for sure who's going to be a main character (Talaus?), but all those you introduced are fascinating, very well described with only a few short, efficient sentences. Great job.

Grammar: Except for a couple of typos, there's nothing significant to report! It's a pleasure reading you. An excellent choice of words and large lexicon make a lot to keep us interested. We can feel the work you've put into your writing, and it motivates us to avoid skipping and read every sentence carefully.
Advice: mind the its/it's trap.

Punctuation: nothing to report on the dialogue tag pitfall, so good job. A couple of little things I tagged in in-line comments (semicolons instead of colons here and there).

Realism: Your great writing skills make your characters and their environment realistic and relatable. Their emotions and reactions are quite natural and normal.