Remember Me

12

Nicoli and Blair were gone early. I didn't know who left first or where they were going. I didn't know when I'd see them next. But I couldn't worry about that at the moment.

James stepped inside and shut the door behind him softly. He knelt down beside the bed and brushed my hair back from my face. "Princess."

I opened my eyes and jumped at how close he was to me. I forced a smile. "Hey."

"Good morning, Sterling. I'm sorry I woke you."

"It's okay. I probably slept in" I glanced around the room and saw it was just the two of us.

"You needed it."

I sat up and folded my legs under me. "Do you think we could go look at the flowers today?"

"It's raining outside."

I glanced out the window and it looked dark outside. The sky was gray and the rain was falling heavily. The window had streaks of water sliding down it.

"Oh."

He sat on the bed beside me. "I thought of taking you somewhere today."

I perked up. "Yeah?"

He smiled. "I wanted to show you where we'll be staying once you have the baby."

I'd completely forgotten that once I had the baby I'd have to stay in the family rooms. With James. When I first met him, I thought that was a great idea and I was eager to move in there. But now...

"I know it's scary. But you're going to be an amazing mommy and that baby is going to love you."

"Do you love me?"

He brushed the hair from my face so he could see me better. "Of course, Sterling. I love you very much."

I looked over at him and got the feeling that he was relaxing more. He trusted his medicine to work on me and last the whole month or close to it. He didn't suspect it was wearing off.

Swallowing my pride, I  climbed into his lap and rested my head on his chest. "Why don't Blair and Nicoli love Dr. Bailey and Dr. Jade like I love you?"

He ran his fingers up my spine and placed a kiss on the top of my head. "I don't know, baby girl."

"I feel bad for them. They're always so mad and hateful. Shouldn't they be grateful that the doctors saved them?"

"Yes. Jade and Bailey love Nicoli and Blair very much. Just as I love you."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

I lifted my head to see him. "Why doesn't Blair's medicine work anymore?"

"She's been here quite a while. Her body has just gotten adjusted to it. I believe Dr. Bailey is working on an alternative for her."

I nodded. "Good. I want her to be happy with him and love him."

"Are you happy with me, princess?"

I faked a smile. "Of course I am."

"Are you happy here?"

"It's really nice here. I just wish... Could I have a book or something for when you're not here? Sometimes I'm here by myself and it gets really lonely."

"Sure, baby. I'll try and visit more often, too."

I hugged him, my arms wrapped around his neck. "I'd love that."

He kissed my cheek. "Do you want to go see where we'll stay?"

I was ready to get out of the room and do something. I wanted to see the rest of the building that I hadn't yet seen so I knew exactly what I was up for if I ever got the chance to escape.

---

There were around fifteen families. Some only had one child or baby while others had up to four. Most of the couples were younger though there were some that looked to be in their thirties or so.

James took me to an empty room, one he said would be ours. It had a living room with artwork on the walls. The kitchen was a decent size with a table on one side. There was a bathroom attached to the master bedroom that had two sinks and a shower. Then there was a smaller bathroom near the extra bedrooms, for the children. It was a bit overwhelming considering I didn't even know if I was pregnant.

James pulled something from his pocket and held it out to me. "Do you want to try it and see?"

I looked down at the object and nearly gasped. He had a pregnancy test in his hand. Did he really want to test it now?

I nodded. "Okay."

He kissed my forehead. "Go ahead, baby girl. I'll wait out here for you."

With a shaking hand, I took it from him and went into the master bathroom. I shut the door behind me with a soft click.

The large mirror over the sink showed me standing with the test in my hands. I looked healthy, normal. How was it that I looked fine yet I felt so off? I didn't feel like myself but honestly, I didn't even know what 'myself' was.

Taking a deep breath, I took the test and paced the length of the bathroom as I waited. I only had to wait thirty seconds but it was thirty seconds that could seal my fate and change my life. Was I ready for a kid? A kid with a total stranger, even. I was still a kid myself who had no idea what was going on. I was constantly directed by James, told what to do and believe. Did I want to raise a kid like that?

The test showed one blue strip. I waited several more seconds. Two strips meant I was pregnant. One meant I wasn't. After several more seconds passed, the second line never appeared and that was that. I wasn't pregnant.

I smiled to myself but remembered James was waiting on me. I pulled some fake tears to the surface and opened the door.

I started sobbing and ran into his arms, hiding my face from view.

"Baby, it's okay. We can try again soon, okay?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sterling, why are you apologizing?"

I sniffed. "Because you wanted a baby with me and... what if I can't give that to you?"

"We'll find another way to have a baby. We can always use a surrogate."

"It won't be our baby."

He brushed my hair back and took the test from me. "We'll raise it just like our own."

I wiped my eyes and pulled back. "Can you take me to my room?"