Remember Me

26

The nurses cleaned the baby up and helped me clean up. Jade's blood, and James', was on my skin and I desperately wanted it off. I didn't want any memory of that to stay with me.

Except for the baby.

A nurse walked into the room, holding her. She was wrapped in a blanket and looked like she was sleeping. I wanted to snatch her from the nurse, hide her, and never let anyone touch her. But I held back. I had to trust that these nurses weren't going to hurt me or the baby. Not all nurses and doctors were bad.

The baby made a soft noise as I held her against me. I could tell she knew who I was just from my touch.

"Your family is here to see you." The nurse said in a hushed voice. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a bun and the light pink lipstick on her lips shined in the light. She didn't look anything like Jade.

I was nervous to see my family. Would I remember them? Would they remember me? I didn't know how long I'd been gone, how long it had been since I saw them last. I knew my memories had faded into nothing but maybe they would come back upon seeing them.

I nodded and watched her leave. I was trying to hold back my anxiety so the baby couldn't feel it. I didn't want her to be upset and start crying just because I couldn't keep my emotions in check. That wasn't fair to her.

The baby made another noise and wiggled inside the blanket. I could tell she was waking up. I hoped she liked my family, trusted them. Babies could tell if someone wasn't a good person, if they meant harm.

She was so small in my arms, so fragile. I knew staying at the hospital with James would have ruined her life. She would have grown up thinking everything he did was okay because he was her father. I didn't want my baby to think that hurting people was okay. Not when I'd gone to such lengths to protect her.

"Sterling, baby, I'm so happy to see you." I couldn't register the voice or what was going on in time. Someone came crashing into me, wrapping their arms around me and the baby, squishing my face against her chest.

But I recognized the scent and breathed it in. Her perfume was something I'd hated as a child. It was her signature smell and I knew exactly who she was.

"I missed you, mom."

The baby started crying and mom stepped back, giving us just enough room to breathe. I knew she wouldn't stop hovering for days while she was getting used to seeing me again. Seeing us.

She looked down at the baby and ran her hand over the baby's head. "Baby, I'm so sorry. We didn't mean to wake you. Brian, come say hi."

A man with hair shaved nearly to his scalp and a Deacon Lake shirt walked to stand beside mom. He smiled as he caught my eye. "Hi, sweetheart."

I smiled back. "Hi, dad."

Mom pulled the blanket away from the baby and rubbed her back. "I think she's hungry, Sterling."

I lifted her out of my lap and put her against my chest. I unclipped the hospital gown at my shoulder and eased her to my nipple.

Mom pushed my hair back over my shoulder and away from the baby. "Do you want to keep the baby, sweetie?"

She latched onto me so effortlessly. I knew she was either starving or she just wanted to be close to me. Either way, I knew I wasn't letting her out of my sight.

I nodded. "She's mine, mom. I can't give her up."

"Do you have a name for her?"

There was only one name I could think of. Only one thing that made sense. I had to do what was right for her. "Blair."