Chance

Chapter 6 - Honesty

My voice never came. I wasn't ready nor was I able to return his kind words. It wasn't that they weren't true but mostly that I wasn't comfortable opening myself up to him like that again. Maybe I did miss him. It didn't matter.

"I'm so sorry for springing that on you... I had to say it," Ben explained. He didn't seem at all bothered by my lack of response.

"Why?" I blurted. I wasn't intending on asking yet it happened anyway.

His eyebrows knitted together and eyes searched mine, "Why what?"

It then became clear that he could take my question one of two ways, "Why'd you have to tell me?"

"I'm too grown to be holding back my feelings. I want to give this an honest go and the best way to do that is by being transparent. I miss you, Addi. Even if dating doesn't work out, it'll be nice to have you as a friend again."

Friend.

Friend?

The sincerity in his voice melted my heart. For a moment, all past pain was forgiven and forgotten. He took a sip of his milkshake and moaned, similar to what I did earlier. The sound sent chills down my spine and thoughts racing through my mind. Thoughts I shouldn't be having about a guy I was trying to get back at. I wasn't sure if I missed Ben but I definitely missed hearing him moan, even more so when I was the one causing it.

I nodded in response to him and took a sip of my milkshake, eyes never leaving his. Ben's expression shifted from soft to lustful in a split second.

"Addi, if you keep do-" he was abruptly cut off when Julie appeared beside our table.

She glanced at the two of us, "Is everything okay?"

"It's great, thank you." I said a little too quickly. Julie nodded and walked away, heading straight for another table.

My eyes drifted back to Ben and saw that he was tapping away on his phone, "What were you saying?"

His gaze met mine, an emotion flashing through his eyes. As quickly as it came, it went, "Nothing important."

I shrugged and went back to my meal. If it wasn't important enough for him to repeat then it wasn't important enough for me to know. A comfortable silence blanketed us with only the slight scraping of forks against plates every once in a while to cut through it.

It was weird being here with him again and actually being on a date. If a year ago someone said that I would be hanging out with my ex after things ended so abruptly with us, I probably would have laughed in their face at how absurd that idea was but here I was. The strangest part was that it was easy.

I chalked it up to familiarity. That was the only explanation... it had to be.

There was no way that I was actually enjoying being with Ben. Ben of all people. He was the guy that tore out my heart, stomped on it and carried on living his life happily. Well... I assumed he was happy. After everything, I unfollowed him on social media. I couldn't handle seeing whoever he'd given his affections to after me.

A heat began to rise within me and I shoved the feeling down. My anger wasn't going to ruin this for me. I was not allowing that. There was a bigger play here.

I pushed a piece of pancake around in the syrup before placing it in my mouth. A drizzle of the sweet maple ran down my lip. I grabbed a napkin, dabbing it away and caught Ben's watchful gaze as I did so, his lips pressed into a fine line.