Chance

Chapter 10 - Confrontation

    My body was screaming for rest after the day I had. It was already eleven forty-five in the evening once I had finished showering. My mind replayed Ben's speech over and over in a never ending loop but I wasn't complaining. A goofy smile spread across my lips while I climbed into bed, got cozy and closed my eyes, allowing the entire night to play like a movie behind my eyelids.

One thing stuck with me. Ben said he tried calling in the weeks following our breakup but I didn't remember that and it was definitely something that I'd remember but I was drawing a blank every time I thought back to those weeks. In fact, I didn't remember even using my phone at all. I was so closed off and lost that I never cared to check it. No one reached me unless they physically showed up at my door.

Cami and I shared an apartment off campus at that time so if anyone knew what was going on with me at that then, it was going to be her. I made a mental note to ask her about it in the morning before switching my thoughts back to the night I just had. In unison with that, thoughts of calling it quits altogether seeped through. No one deserved to be hurt, especially not someone making an honest effort to get back in my good books. The only thing options I had were to come clean or to cut things off and I wasn't going to tell him that I was playing him.

The next morning, I woke up in the best mood. It was a bit too early for someone on vacation but I was going to roll with it. As soon as I got one of my legs out of the bed, the urge to pee hit me like a brick forcing me to bolt out of my room, hoping Cami wasn't hogging the bathroom. A breath of relief escaped my lips when I turned the knob and it actually opened. I used the bathroom, washed my hands and strolled out of there feeling brand new.

"Morning, Sunshine," Cami called as I walked into the kitchen. She was in her skirt for work and a bra but her hair and makeup was already done.

I smiled at her and turned on the kettle, craving a hot cup of ginger tea, "Good morning. You're a bit early today."

She took a bite out of her toast and nodded, "I wanted to catch up on some work. My vacation is coming up soon and there's no way I'm going to be taking work calls when I'm supposed to be resting and relaxing."

That was something I understood. When it was time to focus on myself, work took the back-burner which is why I pushed to get everything completed before I left and she was doing the same. Then it hit me.

"I had to ask you something." She gestured for me to continue, "Ben was telling me that he tried calling in the weeks after we broke up but I don't recall. Did I tell you anything about it back then?"

My heart sank when I saw the look on her face. Guilt was etched deep into her features and her eyes, oh her eyes were the ultimate giveaway.

"What did you do?"

Cami had already finished eating her breakfast by the time I asked the question which meant that she had no excuses for not answering immediately. She swallowed and diverted her gaze to the right of my head.

"Okay, don't be mad but I deleted his calls."

The sinking feeling quickly turned into something else. My heart rate sped up and so did my breathing, "Why? How did you even do it?"

She took one of her braids between her fingers and played with it, her eyes still never meeting mine, "You were so distraught that you hardly ever looked at your phone so I charged it for you in case your family called to check up on you. In the midst of that, I declined or deleted his calls from the call log so you didn't have to see or think about him. I was just trying to help."

Part of me understood where she was coming from but the thought of her going through my phone and deleting calls without telling me was infuriating. What if I wanted to speak to him? What if I wanted to feel like he cared enough to check up on me? What if?

The sad part was that for a long time I believed he didn't care so when he finally called a few months later, I wanted nothing to do with him. Too much time had passed in between for me to even think about taking his call. Cami stripped that option away from me. Maybe things could have been different if I knew he had reached out sooner. If I knew that he was actually trying.

The answer to that was unknown and was going to remain that way. None of us had the capability to turn back the hands of time and live certain moments differently to determine the outcome.

It was such a small issue if I actually evaluated it more but I felt lied to and cheated. It was possible that I was overreacting and it didn't matter. It truly didn't. What mattered was she had time to tell me. She had plenty of opportunities to say something. So many nights I cried in her arms asking why I wasn't enough and if she thought that I crossed his mind at all since he broke up with me and not once did she speak up and say that he had been trying.

If she told me then that she had been deleting the call, I would have been mad and rightfully so but we would have had time to fix it, but now? Two years later? It couldn't be fixed.

A long moment passed with nothing being said. My mind was running a mile a minute but no words came out. It didn't want to speak to her. She looked up, eyes pleading with me. I turned around and switched off the stove, my happy mood and ginger tea craving was long gone.

When I turned back around, my eyes fell onto her. I wanted to say that I understood that she did it because she was trying to lessen my pain but she went about it in the wrong way. I shook my head and opened my mouth. I didn't know what I was going to say yet.

Cami had my best interests at heart but there was no denying that she shouldn't have meddled with my phone. If I took hers and began deleting things, it wouldn't sit well with her. It was childish thinking and in her defense, we were very young still.

I closed my mouth and walked out of the room. My body was on autopilot as I took a shower and got ready. The jeans and fitted t-shirt I chose to wear were the first things my hands pulled out of the closet and it had to do for now. I did my edges, moisturised my face, grabbed my phone and walked out of my room.

The sound of Cami calling out to me didn't have any sort of impact as I put on my shoes and grabbed my car keys. I stepped through the front door and closed it behind me with a soft click. The last thing I heard from Cami was her saying she was trying to protect me.

If I was being honest with myself, I would acknowledge that she was being a good friend in her own way and she needed to be given the benefit of the doubt but I was so wrapped up in my emotions over such a petty thing that none of that reached the forefront of my mind.

I got into my car and pulled out of my parking space. I had nowhere to go but anywhere else was better than being home with Camila. 

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This chapter was shorter but I felt like there was no need to drag it out. I hope you liked it nonetheless!