Chapter 14

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JAX

I squeezed my eyes shut and dunked my head under the spray of water, letting it wash the salty sweat off of me. 

I kind of wanted him to walk in. 

What the fuck was wrong with me. 

He never would, I know he never would. 

He had nearly killed me, man. Fuck. 

I had brought my shirt down from over my eyes to see him standing there, half-shrouded in shadow. His eyes had been on my stomach. 

I had slipped up then. Let my guard down. Let him see that his presence affected me. 

But I was glad I had working out. 

He hadn't seen me without a shirt since we were fourteen. When we went swimming in the river near his aunts house. Or in his pool, for hours and hours, until we came out with wrinkly hands and sunburns, ready for to raid the freezer for popsicles. 

The way he had looked at me had been different.

I think. 

God, he was a fucking asshole. 

Did he know? Did he suspect somehow - and that was why he was acting like this? To torture me? 

I slick my wet hair back. 

There's no way. He didn't have a cruel bone in his body. 

......

His body.... 

I turned the water temperature down to cold, sucking in air as it hit me. 

Disgusting.

Disgusting.

I was disgusting.

------

The hallways were empty as I walked to the school library. I never went to this place, but I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to go to Ryan's house either - his family had already done enough for me. 

Fuck. I never went to the library. That shit was for nerds. 

The lights were on, but the library woman wasn't there. There was just one kid, sitting in the corner, playing some game on one of the computers. 

Duncan Eider. 

That was his name. He was in my year, but looked younger - I think he'd been put up a year cos he was smart or something. 

He was gay, and out - that was the only reason I knew his name. Some of Denver's football team would yell shit at him in the hallways. He seemed normal enough. He didn't do anything weird, I guess. 

He looked at me from across the room nervously, forgetting about the game. 

I rolled my eyes, slumping down in a chair and pulling out my phone. 

Every now and then he would look over at me. I felt a wave of annoyance. 

"What. " I said, deadpan. It wasn't very loud, but he definitely heard me. 

He looked away quickly, mouthing "nothing" quickly. 

God. Did he think I was hot? 

This made me more annoyed. 

So when he got up to leave half an hour later, I did too. 

He glanced over his shoulder once in the hallway, but that was it. We turned a corner then I grabbed him by his backpack and slammed him into the lockers. 

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