Moonlit Craters

(20) Days Together

Music: K. Flay, Nervous
May 24th, 2020
*****

Early dawn light shone into the studio apartment, chasing away the night-time demons. While Stella lay in bed, soaking the warmth from the sun, she remembered breakfast the day before.

Keith had been sweet. After their late phone call, he took a quick trip to the grocery store and picked up some soy-based yogurt for her. Along with some granola, just so she could eat too. There'd been a cup of coffee, steaming hot, waiting for her when she arrived. Over breakfast in his kitchen, she told him that she messaged Billy.

He got back to her over breakfast. His answer was a simple to get to know her.

If Keith hadn't been there, she'd have cursed the phone out and threw it across the room. As it had been, he ended up helping her figure out what she wanted to do. She ended up suggesting they meet for Sunday coffee.

Then almost threw up after she sent the message.

She did when Billy agreed.

After that, she and Keith talked about more mundane things. Or, rather, he talked. She listened, letting his summer-like voice soothe her. He talked to her about a neighborhood teen who'd taken a strong liking to him and what they did together. That kid, Jason, spent a lot of time at Keith's house to get away from his parents and work out his own feelings. He'd been over the previous night, apparently. Then, it was time for him to leave for work. After, she came back to her apartment.

Looking at her phone, she still had a good three hours before she had to go meet Luna. The younger girl was coming into the city with her friend and friend's mother. The four of them planned to spend the morning at The Franklin Institute before Luna's friend and her mother went to visit family. She sent Keith a good morning text and added a line about having dreamt of him.

Then she texted Howie. He still hadn't responded to the texts from yesterday, leaving her on read. He didn't respond to the one she just sent him, either. But it was still early, maybe he just hadn't woken up yet. She stared at the phone a second longer, her stomach twisted into knots when she didn't see him typing a response.

She threw her phone off to the side. It landed with a thud, somewhere on the floor. This freedom was what she'd wanted, right? A few tears escaped and trickled down the side of her face. She pinched herself, stopping any more tears from escaping. She had three hours until she had to meet Luna. Two of them could be put to better use by running. 

A nice, relaxing morning jog was what the psychiatrist prescribed. It was certainly better than obsessing over why Howie hadn't responded to her. Stella drug herself out of bed, her worn quilt slid off her.

It didn't take long to throw on running clothes and shoes. It took even less time to swallow her morning round of medication and chase it down with a particularly large gulp of coffee.

The early dawn light danced off the river. Stella paused in her run to admire the way the light sparkled, creating ripples of diamonds across the surface. The cool metal from the railing cut into her stomach as she leaned forward to watch it. Sometimes, there was something special about seeing the world in the way other people didn't. She was pretty sure neurotypical people didn't notice how the light scattered across the river.

Or the way it took her breath away.

Ten years ago, if anyone told her she'd watch the sunrise after her thirtieth, she would have laughed. There was no way she would have thought she'd still be alive.

Not for lack of trying, though.

But moments like this, where the sun glinted off of water-diamonds, spread a smile across her face.