Pacifist ♡ tlou2

Boom｡˚♡. ཾ *:･ﾟ

The man beside Abby quickly reached for his pistol and-
"GRAMPS!"
I awoke from a nightmare to the sounds of my wailing. My sweat-covered body shot up in a panic. Opening my eyes I realized I was in Ellie's room. The familiar setting didn't stop the fresh memories of today's events from replaying in my mind.

Bringing up my knees I wrapped my arms around my shins and bowed my head. Folding into myself to escape. Finding no relief, I couldn't hold it in much longer.
My throat burned from the sobs that ripped through me.
Ripped.
Like the skin on his temple where the bullet pierced through him.

I cried my eyes out as the image of the lifeless shell his soul left behind haunted me.
Every time I opened my eyes he was there.
Every time I closed my eyes I was there.
I was back in that mansion, suspended in motion watching my everything be taken away from me.
Again and again, and again-
Boom, Dead.

Gramps soulless, glossed-over eyes burning holes into me.
Burning, My chest is burning.

What am I gonna do? How am I supposed to live without him?
I sunk into myself and cried harder.

Hearing my wails Ellie tried her best to console me, barely holding back her own tears. We sat on her bed embracing each other. I sat in between her legs with my face cradled to her dampened chest, her face buried in my hair. I felt so selfish. Ellie lost a father too. Yet here I was uncontrollably balling my eyes out in her arms as if I was the only one hurting. I should be staying strong for her.

My hold around her waist tightened at the thought. I took a few deep breath's trying to stop the fountains of sorrow spilling down my cheeks, composing myself. Lifting my head I'm met with Ellie's black-eyed, tear-stained face. She looked so traumatized, my heart ached for her. I wish I could take her pain away. I wish I could make it stop hurting for the both of us.

Maybe I could have, maybe I could've stopped it. Maybe if I'd fought harder, maybe if  I was willing to take a life I could have saved theirs.
I failed her when it counted the most and now she's destroyed.

I softly kissed the bruising under her eye and pressed our heads together when more tears started to form. "I'm so sorry baby." she frowned and brushed away my newly released tears with her thumbs. "I'm sorry too" she spoke hoarsely, no louder than a whisper but I could hear perfectly in the deafening silence surrounding us.

Ellie stood up after giving me a reassuring squeeze when a knock came from the door. "Hey" came Tommys deep voice. A wave of guilt slammed into me. Hearing his voice right now made me nauseous. I know Tommy would never say it but what if some part of him blamed me? What if some part of Ellie does?

My head was buzzing with too many nauseating thoughts at once. This is too much right now. I watched Tommy come in and sit on the sofa as I grabbed my boots and slipped them on. "Your leaving?" she asked from Tommy's side with a frown. "Yea. I just- I need some time alone for a little." Her frown deepened but she nodded her head in acceptance anyway.

I left and started making my way home.
A dingy mint green house gramps and I shared. I came to a halt when I realized my error. We use to share a house, now that house is just gonna be a constant reminder. I can't go home.

Definitely can't go back to Ellie's with Tommy around. Maybe Dina's? Hopefully she's awake and looking for company. Watching my feet crunch over the snow beneath them, my legs took me to the place Dina called home. I walked up to the doormat and cleaned my boots while sucking a breath in.

Holding the air in my lungs, I quickly stretched my fist towards the door and knocked lightly. Dina answered the door not a minute later in an oversized shirt. "Y/n? What's going on baby, I thought you were resting with Ellie?" Her sleepy voice questioned adorably while using a hand to rub her tired eyes. She spoke to me so delicately.
The familiar salty substance sprung out of my eyes at the sound of her voice.

Dina didn't waste a second pulling me into her and her home. She didn't stop there and took me upstairs by the hand and sat us down on the bed. Taking my other hand in hers she asked another question. "Did- did something else happen? Why'd you leave Ellie?"  Looking into her concerned eyes had me debating on telling her the truth or not.

She'd just tell me that it's not my fault and that nobody thinks it is. Hearing that isn't going to fix it. "I just needed some space and I was going to go home b-but I- I can't go back in there Dina. He's everywhere in that house. I can't even escape him in my own head and going there wo-" I rambled, salt water still running down my face.

"It's ok! You should know you can stay here as long as you need Y/n"  The woman before me was always so incredibly sweet it made my heart melt.
"Thank you. Thank you so much D."  She gave me
a half smile in return. "We should try sleeping, I know that may not seem like the best option for you right now but-"
"No I'm fine. I think I've finally done enough crying to knock me out pretty quick."  We settled under the sheets with Dina being the big spoon.

She kissed the top of my head and began playing in my hair with careful fingers. My heavy eyelids slowly fell shut as sleep consumed me. I hoped I'd be graced with a dreamless sleep, I realized that wasn't going to be the case when I opened my eyes to a crazed Abby with a shotgun in her grip and a man by her side reaching for his waistband.
Boom.