Please spare me, Villain!

Chapter 40

*Autumn's POV*
"Luther, what do I do?" I cried as I rested my head on my knees and wrapped my arms around myself.

"You don't have to do anything." He responded, sitting in front of me.

"I want to go back." I mumbled hoarsely raising my eyes up at him.

"Do you have to go back? Can't you stay here? What about Ian? He'll miss you Autumn, you know he can't lose you. And Samuel, don't you love Samuel? If you leave you'll never get to see him again." Luther tried to placate me, tried to convince me that it would be better for me to stay here.

"I-I love it here... I really do, but I don't want to forget my mum. She must be worried now, I can't just leave her behind... I'm all she has, my step-dad isn't even home half of the year, she'll be lonely... I wish I could stay in both places, but I can't, if I stay here I'll forget everything. I can't handle this feeling, this feeling of not knowing who I am." I felt my a knot growing in my throat as I spilled out my thoughts. A feeling of choking followed as I struggled to inhale.

I can't do this.

"But what if when you go back, you forget everyone? What about us? You'll just leave us behind?" Luther struggled to speak, his hand crushing the fabric on the bed in an effort to control himself.

"You'll probably forget me too." I whispered, feeling my chest burning in pain as the realisation finally hit me.

Just like how they kept calling me by a different name, when I finally disappear, when the anomaly finally leaves they'll probably forget all about me.

"We wouldn't forget you. You know how much you mean to Ian and Samuel and Alec and Ben?" Luther assured me as he ran his hand through his hair with unease.

"If I could forget so much of my own life what's to stop you guys from forgetting? They already started calling me by someone else's name! What does that mean? Does it mean I'm not Autumn anymore? In a few months time I probably won't even remember the name given to me by my mother. You don't think about it, but your name, do you know how important it is? If all else is forgotten your name still holds your very essence. I can't even remember why she named me Autumn anymore, if I forget the only thing left that's still anchoring me to that world, the memories of the people calling me over there, what does it leave me with?" I rambled on and on stuck on the topic of my name.

"Autumn, I won't forget. I told you I won't forget." Luther stared into my eyes, an unwavering stare telling me that I should believe in him.

"But I'm forgetting, I can't deal with this anymore Luther, please just let me do it." I crawled towards him grabbing onto his arm as I pleaded for him to let me leave in peace. My hands reached down to his gun holster but just as my fingers curled around the gun he slapped my hand away.

"Stop it, stop asking me to die. You can't die, what do you not understand? That's not how you get back, it's not how you get back." Luther's whole demeanour changed he was no longer gentle instead he switched back to the cold him from our first meeting.

"You don't know anything." I screamed at him in frustration as my tears once again threatened to spill.

"The way..."He whispered after a few minutes of silence. The latter half of the sentence was said so quietly that I couldn't hear it at all.

"What did you say?" My voice was quieter than before but still a shout as I asked him to repeat himself.

"The way to send you back home, I know it." He relented coldly then turned to leave before I could say anything more.

"No, wait, what are you doing? Come back here." I caught up to him tugging on his arm demanding he explain himself.

He knew how I could get back? Since when? Why did he not tell me?

"Y-you how long have you known?" I tugged on his arm trying to hold him back but he continued forward, refusing to look at me.

"I won't let you go back." He spat out, shrugging me off as he sped out of the hospital.

"He, he knows how I could get back..."

But he won't tell me?

Why?

Even though he knows how much it's killing me inside...

Why?

A/N: okay Luther, I mean it's not ur choice but u do u m8