Acrasia

Scorn.

            We all met back at my home. Sera immediately went to find Barima, and I did not stop her from going to the source of the blood trails. I secretly hoped she'd slip and fall. That she'd die again. I focused on my anger to stop the urge to be near her, to feed from her. Her brother accompanied her, with his eyes on the back of his head. I couldn't have spoken to her or neared her of I tried. Ivara also cut me off from any conversation. I tried to initiate talk about family and bloodlines, but she told me flatly that I deserved none of that knowledge. Not even my parents want to deal with me. They followed Ivara to another room.

           "So, I got you exactly what you wanted. Do you still plan to sit here and act like an asshole all evening? Thanks are in order."

           "I wanted to back out. That bastard she carries is not mine. I no longer wanted her."

           "I should kill you right here for wasting my time you little pest. I see what the problem is here. Responsibility, Noxodius kryptonite. You can't stand to have to face reality and consequences, so you would delude yourself into thinking you aren't the father. I snort.

          "Dellude? She fed from Lucien. I seen it when I messed with her memories."

           "Fed, not fucked. It's hard to control hunger, wouldn't you agree? Especially when you've never been taught. Tell me, Nox. Tell me how many you've devoured and bedded when she was yours? After her death? I can tell you that child is not Lucien's. Yeomorah would die or kill it before he let his bloodline leave hid property. Even that unstable prick would claim his children. Are you lower than him?"

          "What I've done or how I've fed has nothing to do with this! It's our nature. It's how we survive. I have to feed."

           "Precisely. So why do you not give her the same rights? You messed with her memories, therefore you have them in your possession. Look back through them. Figure it out. I can take one look at this girl and tell you are foolish."

         I don't respond, I just stand and briskly walk away. I vanish in the hall and I creep next to Barima's room, where Sera works with Barima's body alongside her brother.

         "Why would he do this? To Barima of all people. I don't understand." Sera cries as she strokes a wet cloth along Barima's face. Alexavier sighs.

          "Some people have no redeeming qualities dear." He takes the cloth and grabs one of Sera's hands in his. "It's like this. Some people are only here for themselves. They care about nothing, nobody. They have no sympathy, guilt, or value for life. Others only exist to 'please them.' He has always been a waste, and he always will. He denied his child, tried to kill its mother, and now he would use his own daughter he mistreated and unborn grandchild as pawns. Accept him for what he is, do not try to understand his reasoning. Sometimes, there is none. Accept Noxodius at face value too, he goes no deeper than this. He said what he said because he meant it. He won't be good to you, he has never has he? He won't  come around, or love his child. Nothing has 'gotten into him.' He only dropped the mask. You are seeing his true nature now. You did nothing wrong. Stop trying to find the silver lining in every storm cloud you see."

          "He killed me, I know. Before all that though he proclaimed his love, and how he couldn't be without me. How it would be us always, or death. I just don't understand. I swear to you I never slept with that godawful man, yet he accused me and humiliated me in front of everyone. I've never felt so small, unwanted. And until you and mother, I don't believe I had ever been wanted." She elevates her head and blinks, fighting away tears. Her confusion and sorrows hang about her like a thick winter coat. The restlessness within me heightens and I almost go to her without thinking. "I just don't know now that I could ever trust him again. Everything he says, he does, he is, is a lie. A perfectly orchestrated lie. I believe he could even lie to himself. I've never said it out loud, but he is just like my father. He will never change. I know this now. I only tried to a thousand times to find good in him, to make the most of this."