Acrasia

Acceptance.

       *Sera's POV*

        I haven't left this room since Nox attacked me in the hallway. I refused dinner. I vehemently denied to feed from him, and I have sent everyone out of my room who has entered thus far. If I can't have freedom what can I have?  Not my home. Not love. Not my own free will. Not privacy either. I have caught Nox several times attempting to slip into my sanctuary here. I'm now too paranoid to shower. I finally found a full enough outfit to cover me head to toe, and I double layered. I admittedly regret shredding the clothes now. I have one now a sweater, jogging pants and a giant night shirt overtop of that.

         I'm too wired up to sleep. I keep waiting for Nox to come sneaking in to harm me, or for Yeomorah or one of the other strangers from earlier to try to enter. I seen how they looked down on me earlier, like I am dirt beneath their feet. It was worth embarrassing myself to curse them, to kick that offensive hooker off her feet. And bite that man. At least now they know I am not trustworthy. Hopefully the majority will  avoid me should I be drug out of this room. I only want to be alone.

       I don't understand why everything has to be so hard. I only want to exist in peace. Is that so much to ask for? I wasn't violent.  I was never a threat until that insufferable man made his presence known in my life. From the moment I met him my life has taken a downward spiral. I was just any other person before he came crashing in with his escalating obsession. Why me? He knew he could and would never love me. Why couldn't he just be like Justin and everyone else in my life and just replace me too?  She's not my mate. I would never claim her. So why keep me then? I'm far too weak to go through the walls now or I would just get out of here and never look back. 

         I am sprawled out on the floor, half under the bed and rolled up in the blanket. I can't get all the way under it, and frustrated, I roll to the closet and work my way in then shut the door. I don't even care how ridiculous I probably look. I dont and can't care about anything. Pets don't have rights. So why should I care? I've come to terms with my fate if I stay here, obviously I won't survive. I've been at peace with this for a while. I stopped fighting it now. There are worse things than death. Loneliness, suffering, subservience, abuse. I could write you a book.

        I feel Noxodius's presence before I even lay eyes on him. I burrow tighter into my blanket, I don't want to see him. This should have been my initial reaction to him. I should've screamed, ran and set fire inside that apartment with a truckload of sage. I should've sprinkled those salts like carpet powders. I wish one thousand times over I never met him. The door creaks open. I shake just feeling his eyes on my skin. It raises gooseflesh along my body. How can a man so alluring be so repulsive?

       "Seraphine. It is time for you to feed." He tugs at my arm, and I curl up tighter to deny him easy access to my limbs. "Come. You cannot feed me if you don't feed yourself." Good. I'll take you down with me. I remain silent. I don't waste words on him.

          He huffs and lifts me up from the floor. He presses me tight under his chin as his arms constrict around me. His heart races at my proximity. Subconsciously he strokes my arm with his finger as we go wherever. I'm still wrapped in the blanket and have yet to look out. I force my heart to slow, focusing on my disgust instead. I won't allow soft touches to sway me. His head nuzzles the top of mine, and I tuck my head as far down as I can. I hear his lips against the blanket. I swallow a whimper and steady my breathing. I will not cry. I will show no reaction to him. I will fake it until I really feel nothing for him. Still my lip wobbles and I nesrly bite the blood out of it in anger. I am stronger than this.

        After what feels like an hour, we reach wherever he was going. I feel him deposit me into a chair before he takes his seat. The smell of warm food wafts through the blanket, and my stomach gives a soft growl. It gets no attention from me. I hear dishes clinking around and liquids being poured. My mouth is parched. I could really use a drink, but I will not have it.