Acrasia

Punishment. *triggers*

*Sera's POV*

I huddle naked in the far corner of the barren concrete cell. Barima coos and tries to comfort me, but I'm beyond comfort. I'm mortified. I don't understand what I've done to deserve all this. I can't help this. I never asked for any of this, I only asked to be left alone. Now I am facing punishment for simply existing, speaking and having no control of myself. My mind wanders to Nox. He did this to me! He brought me into this side of the world. He promised to teach me control, but he was never going to. He only wanted to hold me captive, just as I am here. If I could go back to that day I'd have called in work and stayed home. Safe and tucked into my worn covers in my budget friendly slum, safe from him.

Perhaps I was never meant for this world, in any shape or form. I've fought so hard. So fucking hard just to prevail to face another day of suffering. I can't fake anymore. I can't pretend or feign happiness. Perhaps the happiness I felt was only what I was swiping from others like a leech. Feeding on them, as Nox had me. I'm a devil. A pure devil. I murdered, fed, drank of blood and lust. I scuttled the fucking ceiling like some possessed crab.

I stare dejectedly at the iron barrel door. So useless. With Barima in my body I have absorbed her abilities, and weaknesses. I cannot touch the iron door unless I want to singe my palms off again. Had he just taught you how to use your abilities, I'd be alive. You'd be free. He's a user honey. A user and abuser. His negligence and selfishness has cost us both. I can't believe I envied you. Barima sighs. Everything she says is true. He is the cause of all my recent troubles. I was fine enough before, but then he lowered my guard only to expose me to harsher blows than I had ever experienced.

I don't look up as I see Yeomorah before my door from the corner of my eye. I can only hope he kills me swiftly. It isn't the death that frightens me, it's the suffering. I just don't want to suffer. I just want to be dead, if I can't be dead I just want to be human again.

"Enjoying your room?" He sneers.

"Yup. It really speaks to my person."

"Cold, grey, empty, plain, dull as nd boring?"

"Nicer than I would have worded it, but basically."

"Do you know why I'm here?"

"Of course. Punishment. I wouldn't forget."

"Do you want to bargain or object? I intend to make an example of you for all the others to hear."

"Yes, I'd like to bargain. I have one stipulation if you'd hear me out." Ivsoeak nervously through my arms, still huddled.

"Speak up."

"After punishment I want to die." This stuns him and he shows his surprise before he can reign his face in.

"Die?" To die?"

"Yes." Is it that hard to understand?

"Why?"

"Why not? I know I'm going to die. Everyday I suffer. I am poor, I go hungry. I am an outcast. A loner. An unstable freak. I have no home now. I have nothing and nobody to return to. Why continue to exist when it is only continuous pain for me?"

"Growth is painful. Sometimes you have to destroy a structure to rebuild it. You must tear it down to it's foundation, then build it up again. Making improvements from the previous state as you go. Perhaps this isn't your greatest state, but we can destroy you. Finish this pathetic being that you are and start you over." I don't argue with him. I can hear the excitement as his pulse races and mischief dances in his crimson eyes. He'll have his way regardless. There's an entire building of his henchmen. His son will help. I can't even control myself, let alone purposely call on these attributes to protect myself.

I remain hunched and silent. He carries me out of the cell and into the hall. Cells line either side of us as he travels towards the middle point. He tosses me unceremoniously to the ground. I do not catch myself, I don't have it in me to care. I hear rustling as others flock to their barred doors to peer out at the commotion. He kicks up under my stomach to move me, but I stay limp even as I gasped at the wind that leaves my chest.

He sits in the center of my back, his weight hindering my ability to breathe efficiently. He grabs my hand and begins to break fingers, then wrists. I cry as quietly as I can, which is nearly impossible. My hands want to grab the floor but I can't manipulate my useless broken digits. I writhe and whine as he continues to break the same things on my other hand. Then elbows are popped. Shoulders. I sob loudly now, unable to concentrate on anything other than misery. Just end it. End it here. I'll never feed again. I won't eat. I won't allow whatever I am to thrive should I survive this. If he will not finish this, I will. I will not go on like this forever.

He moves down to my knees and hips, then the center of my spine. I lay limp now. The pain having driven me far into my mind to cope. I cannot walk or move. He snaps my neck and I lie flat in my tears and drool. He stands above me now, beating me for whatever reason. I can't feel it, so why bother? Shocked faces watch from their doors in horror. What a sight I must be nude and mangled.

"Now, Lucien, you may have her." He smirks. His son looks down at me in disgust. He turns to leave, but Yeomorah stops him. "You aren't going to feed her?" I could care less about repercussions, and I decide to take a shot at him.

"I will not feed from him. I fed from him in dire starvation while I was out of control and it turned my stomach. His blood tastes of piss."

"Bold words from paralyzed mutt."

"I'm not paralyzed, I'm simply imitating what you must be like in bed." He snarls and Yeomorah laughs in his deep scratchy voice.

Yeomorah drags my limp body by an ankle back to the cell. I can smell the blood from my back as the concrete scrapes skin away. He slings me in and I gky headlong into the wall then sprawl out helplessly. My head pounds, my head is all I can feel.

"You'll require days to heal unless you feed. My blood would heal you on the hour." He hoists me up and against his chest. I'm thankful I cannot feel his skin. It's bad enough to smell the death on him. I flick my eyes to feign being disoriented and stare at him blankly. I won't feed on him if I have any say in it whatsoever. I'm content to play stupid until I can fade away from here.

"Speak when I speak to you!"

"Why? So you can get mad and punish me for talking again? I don't care if you do. I have no interests in talking to you." I close my eyes and rest. I can't feel anything, so without looking I can't tell him he moved me or not. I dare not crack an eye as I allow the darkness to take me.

I have no idea how long I've laid here now in my own piss and immobile. It could be hours or even days, but I don't care. I block Barima out and retreat into the recesses of my mind as I rest. I feel the weakness, the hunger, but I bury it deep down. I relish the nothingness while I can. It's like a free trial period of death. Just to see if it's what I truly want. So far it surpasses my wildest dreams. This state of almost limbo wraps around the broken pieces of me like a black cashmere fog, comforting me with velvety vagueness and the warm buzz like tv static lulling me to sleep.