Just A Nerd

Chapter Thirty-Five

LISA

With the influence of alcohol, I am tipsy and bold enough to do something that I am afraid to do for a long time even though I know it's my right if I want to, given the fact that we are already married.

Now that I am on top of her, drinking her in, I notice that I am so in love with this woman, my high school sweetheart.

Thinking back, I have a few questions that keep wondering in my mind.

How many people are lucky enough to be with the one person they love since they were young?

How many people still remain faithful lovers after growing up and being apart for so many years?

I am sure it's not many, but I am one of them.

From the day I left her till today, there is no day that I can live without thinking of her. Without having her as my motivation and obviously my inspiration.

Working hard and having been studied hard are just coping mechanisms for me when I am away from her.

Money is just an asset that I need to be with her.

Who created 'love'?

What makes people think that without money they can be happy together?

Money is not important if you love each other.

Who created this ridiculous sentence?

What makes them think that way?

It's because they are rich.

Easy for them to say when they can provide all the necessary things to their loved ones without being stressed and anxious that one day when their significant others are going to be ashamed, or even they could be ashamed of themselves that money couldn't buy anything, but at least, society wouldn't look down on them as it is for the poor.

I was poor.

It's relatable to me, though.

Anyway.

I become possessive over my wife after 'I changed' people say. It's not true at all. I do that because I love her too much, scared that one day she just disappears from me, which seems so paradoxical because, by history, I am the one who left her.

It's my sin if she leaves me one day, though.

My hands are on her cheeks now, brushing her soft skin with my thumbs. I love how they feel against mine. So lovely. So smooth.

"I love you." I mumble in her ear. Though she doesn't reply, I am glad she doesn't push me away or something. It might be more painful to me if she does.

She moans in response, having received a passionate kiss behind her ear.

I can't help but smile.

At least, some response.

My lips are on hers, deepening the kiss with passion and desire. Unbuttoning her shirt, she helps me take off mine. As we both become naked, I try my best not to spend all of the time in the world staring at this beauty.

When I pull away to look at her, I am shocked when suddenly Jennie grabs my face to kiss me again. My hands roam all over her body as I get too excited.

Then.

When I go back to kiss her lips, I feel wetness against my cheeks.

What is it?

Her tears.

I pull back instantly as if I were struck by lightings.

After calming myself down a bit, and brushing off the thought of me having no shame, and I realize I basically force her to do it emotionally, I close my eyes before opening them back. "You don't have to force yourself, Jennie. I am sorry that I forced you if that possible." I shake my head when she tries to grab my hand.

I get furious.

Suddenly, our passionate moments become just a time when she pities me again. She kissed me because she had to or whatever, and I hate it for either of them.

Grabbing the blanket, I hand it to her before walking out of the room.

"Lisa." She runs after me as I turn to her wanting to know what else she could do to show pity toward me.

"Listen, I know I c-cried because I just got so emo-"

"You don't need to explain, Jennie. I completely understand. You just did that because of whatever reasons you have, and it's not love." She grabs my hands with trembles.

I don't know why, but my tears fall.

And.

I have no choice, but to release her hands from my unlucky ones.

I turn back to push her away a bit farther, but she flings herself into my arms as I accept with gladness even though it's hurt, and I feel terribly awful. "I am sorry, Lisa. I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's okay. Shh..." I rub her head, looking at the white wall across the room. My life is like that wall, ridiculously speaking. "I am sorry that I didn't listen to you. You are right...I wouldn't have believed you anyway. I am not a good wife, ain't I?"

She shakes her head. "No. It's not fully your fault. I am sorry, too."

I smile, kissing her hair.

Tightening the blanket around her body, I carry her to the bed. "Sleep now. You look tired; I'll cook dinner for the both of us."

When I am about to leave, she grabs my hands. "Don't leave, Lisa."

I frown in confusion as she continues. "I am not hungry. Come here, I want to look at your hands a bit." Then she takes off her blanket for me to shove myself inside. "Huh?" I ask. "You are still naked unless you are not aware of it."

"Who did this, anyway? Come on, I am not asking you to look at it. Just come inside. It's cold outside." She looks away. Her cheeks flush, but I say nothing as I comply.

She takes a hold of my hands, gazing at them. "They look so bad. They're purple now. Lisa, can you tell me what you have done?"

"Well, I...hit the w-wall."

"You hit the wall?" She shouts, sitting bolt upright as I am beside her now on the bed.

"The wall is okay, by the way." I grin despite the pain.

"I don't care about the fucking wall, Lisa." She shoots me a glare. "I care about you." She widens her eyes, realizing what she said. "I-I care about your hands."

I look at her before bursting into laughter.

God, I can't control myself anymore.

"What?"

"You cared about my hands, and it sounds dirty." I point at my hands, then at her.

Then, a realization hits her as she punches me with her tiny fists. "You pervert monkey." She pushes me out of the bed, but I catch her wrists, pinning her on the bed. "Stop it, Jennie. I might kiss you and use the strength of my hands despite the wounds."

I kiss her cheek before standing up. "Now, I am going to cook. I can't stay here with you being naked."

"I hate you, Lisa Manoban." She yells, but this time her voice is full of jokes.

"But, I will always love you."

I leave to cook after that.