Not Scared Anymore

Chapter 12 - Kevin

Wednesday was trivia night at the Bomber again, and Jared convinced him to go out. Katy was coming along, and bringing a friend with her. Not bothering to go home first, he went to trivia wearing a zip hoodie, and Katy's friend was clearly not impressed. She made an excuse to head out before the second round.

Kevin knew it wasn't a date, and he hadn't really been trying to impress her, but he was feeling sorry for himself that he wasn't even worthwhile enough to hang out with.

Katy seemed to sense something was off with him, and before he knew what was happening, he told her all about the bad dates he had been on and how discouraged he was. He had no idea how to meet people.

"Well, make a change then. Pick something small and change it."

"I've been going to the gym, and trying to meditate..."

"No, not like that. Those things take too long to see change. Don't get me wrong, they are great things to do, but you need to see something immediate first to get you motivated."

"Like what? What's an instant fix?"

"Like your hair. That's what I usually do when I feel overwhelmed. I get a hair cut or change the colour. I feel like a whole new person then, and that person is whoever I want to be."

"So, you're saying I need a new hairstyle."

"It's a start. You don't really have much of a hair style right now anyways, it just kinda does what it wants."

"Does it look bad?" He reached up and started to touch it.

"No, not really, it's just not memorable." She was starting to play with it now, and pushing it off to the side.

"What the hell are you guys doing over here?" Jared was gaping at them.

"I'm just talking to Kevin about his hair. How do you think he would look with a fade?"

Jared looked at him critically and cocked his head to one side. "It'd look good, but I don't think he's ready for that. Start with a taper. Nothing too dramatic, or pompadour-like."

Kevin stared at them both, no idea what language they were speaking. He knew it was English, but the words had no meaning to him.

Katy was still tugging on his hair and looking for something on her phone. "Aha! I think you should do something like this!" She held the phone up to him for inspection. It was unlike anything he had ever done before, and it looked like something he would actually have to do in the morning. He liked his minimal routine. Food, shave, shower, teeth, clothes, done. This looked like it would double, or even triple, his grooming time.

"Really?" He didn't mean to sound quite so incredulous, but it couldn't be helped.

Jared jumped in to Katy's relief. "It's actually not so bad. You just need a bit of product to keep it in place. Five minutes max once you get the hang of it."

"And until I get the hang of it?" Jared just shrugged. Katy was looking for more pictures on her phone and showing them to him on occasion. When trivia ended, he asked if she could send him some of the pictures, because there was no way he'd be able to explain the haircut to anyone himself.

*

On Thursday evening, he walked out of the barbershop with the sides of his head feeling cold. It wasn't even cold out, but his head hadn't been so exposed in years. The barber had called it a short finger combed quiff, and tried to teach Kevin how to style it himself. For the first time in his life, Kevin had also purchased a styling product, and if it worked for the barber, he prayed it would work for him. If it didn't, he was going to have words with Katy.

When he got home, he looked at himself in the mirror again, and was impressed with his reflection. Katy was right; that immediate, noticeable change really did make a difference. He was even excited to be going out that night. His new t-shirt fit him nicely, and he thought the results of his increased gym usage were noticeable. He was glad to be seeing Katy again too, something that rarely happened with one of Jared's girls.

They went to a bar to watch the hockey game. Kevin had played hockey his whole life and loved it. None of his buddies played anymore, but at least he managed to convince them to watch games with him on occasion. They could talk about books and movies and games or whatever at the same time, but it was nights like this Kevin enjoyed the most with his friends. They weren't stressful, and he could join in conversation as much as he wanted with the game as a distraction when he started to lose interest.

Katy just about screamed when she saw his hair, and Jared clapped him on the back. The rest of the guys just nodded at him and continued on, but Katy was all over him.

"Can I take you shopping one day? I have some ideas of what would look really good on you. Your hair is amazing! Did I do good or what!"

"Katy,  it looks really good now, but we will see how I do on my own tomorrow before I let you lead me into any other big changes."

"Okay, just let me know, it will be so fun!"

Jared joined in now, "Man, its like she thinks you're her new doll."

"Sorry, I hope that doesn't bother you."

"God no! It's a relief. Better you than me!" he laughed.

"We'll see about that. You're the one who has to look at me all the time, I can just get rid of all my mirrors if I don't like it."

Jared leaned closer to whisper, "I'll make sure to tell her only let you buy colours that go together. Then you can't screw it up!"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." He shook his head and turned back to the game.

He headed to the bathroom during the first intermission, and passed a tall woman with long, curled dark hair sitting in a group of girls by the bar. She was wearing a tank top with a flowy knee length skirt, and laughing at something her friend said. She flipped her hair over her shoulder as he walked past, and drawn by the motion, he noticed a small purplish mark in the hollow above her collar bone, shaped like a crescent moon. He had a sudden impulsive desire to kiss her there, and his hands were shaking when he got to the bathroom.

What the hell was that? Kevin had never felt a desire to do something like that in his life. He splashed cold water on his face to calm himself down, and made sure to take a different route back to his table.

Rattled, he left during the second intermission. He walked home instead of taking the subway so he could clear his head, worried he was losing his mind.