Not Scared Anymore

Chapter 15 - Kevin

On Wednesday, Kevin was back at his Uncle's office for lunch. Nancy was hovering more than normal while he waited for Uncle Dean's meeting to let out. Kevin was a bit early, and he slightly regretted it, not having the patience to deal with Nancy's incessant chattering.

"How much longer do you think they'll be?" he asked Nancy.

"Well, I'd say maybe another 20 minutes. That's usually how long it takes Mr. Anderson there, in the blue suit, to finally leave the room once they stand up, and he's still sitting. He's a chatty one, he is."

"Okay, well I just need to run out and grab something from the corner store, so if it's going to take that long I think I will do it now instead of after lunch." Nancy looked disappointed for half a second, but just as quickly her bright smile was back.

"Oh no worries, I'll let him know if he comes out before you get back!"

He hopped on the elevator and took it down to the main floor. He didn't really need to get anything, but he decided to wander down to the convenience store. He would have to buy something; Nancy would notice if he came back empty handed.

When the elevator doors opened into the lobby, he noticed a tall girl with long, dark hair and a purple bag going into the stairway. He would've sworn it was the girl from the elevator. He chuckled to himself, thinking it likely was if she was taking the stairs now. He probably would have done the same if he didn't know the elevators in this building were super reliable, and the stairways occasionally smelled like feet.

He debated for a few seconds about trying to follow her to see if it really was her, but he didn't want to be creepy. He figured being chased into a stairwell by a random man was probably how a lot of women's nightmares started.

He headed down the block to the convenience store, again trying to picture elevator girl's face, but he no longer could. Being tall and having dark hair applied to so many women; chances were, he would never see her again, and at this point he wouldn't necessarily know if he did.

Looking around for something to buy, he grabbed some gum and a special edition Star Wars magazine, and headed back to his uncle's office. He genuinely enjoyed spending time with Uncle Dean, and was sorry that his parents didn't get along with his dad's side of the family anymore.

They never went to family gatherings, just received quarterly updates from his grandma about what had happened in the family. Kevin and Dean generally didn't talk too much about family matters at their lunches though, mostly just their shared interests of hockey, books and movies. Kevin's parents didn't even know he saw his uncle.

This time, his uncle had ordered Italian sandwiches from a new deli, and they were delicious. Feeling stuffed by the end of it, and needing to get back to the office, he walked out and crashed into Nancy. He grabbed her by the shoulders to keep her steady while she shrieked, a startled sound that turned into a cry of pain. That was when he noticed the dripping sound; she had been carrying coffees, and spilled them all down the front of her dress.

"Oh god, Nancy, I'm so sorry!"

He could see there were tears springing up into her eyes, and he let go of her, and she fled down the hall to the bathroom.

"Nancy!" He called after her. He thought he saw her flinch at her name, but she kept going and disappeared through the bathroom door. He wanted to help her, but he didn't know what he could do at this point.

He stopped at her desk and grabbed a purple sticky note.

Nancy,

I'm sorry about the hallway. I hope you are okay.

He knew her dress was completely ruined, but he didn't know if he should offer to pay for the dry cleaning or replacement, so he hastily scribbled his name and stuck it to the top of her computer monitor.

*

A few days later, he was taking the subway when he noticed the dark-haired woman again. He had caught her looking at him last week, so today he was surreptitiously looking at her. She was reading, and seemed very absorbed in her book. He wanted to know what book she was reading, she kept smiling and laughing occasionally. 

There was a commotion near the doors, someone was yelling incoherently at the driver. Everyone turned to look. When the train pulled into the next station, the door to the driver's cab opened, and the man who had been yelling bolted from the train.

As all the passengers settled down again, he looked back at the dark-haired woman, her jacket had opened just slightly, and he could see a crescent shaped scar in the hollow above her collarbone. Shocked, his palms felt clammy. He knew that scar. It was the woman from the bar! Jared had said one of the blonde girls she was with had been trying to catch his eye, but he had avoided looking back in case he felt the urge to do something stupid again. He curled his hands into his sleeves, and urged his breathing back to a normal rhythm. 

He continued to watch her from the corner of his eye the rest of the way to work, both terrified and hopeful that he might catch her eye, but she was engrossed in her book. Once she departed the train, he redirected all his attention back to his own book, but he couldn't focus with the questions floating through his brain. He needed to meet her. 

*

On Monday morning he woke up feeling happy and refreshed. He'd had a productive weekend, and truly felt like he had gone through a mini-detox for body and soul. He'd ignored his phone and social media, ate good food, cleaned his apartment from top to bottom, and finally did the errands he'd neglected for a month. He was well rested and didn't feel the need for a morning pick me up. He arrived at work earlier than normal and enjoyed the quiet of the office.

Jared staggered in late clutching a Red Bull and wearing sunglasses. He did not appreciate how refreshed Kevin was looking and feeling, and expressed his displeasure in very rude language. On principle, Jared avoided scheduling meetings on Monday if he could, and this morning was a perfect example of why. 

"Stop looking at me like that. Why are you so smug?" Jared accused him as he crashed into his chair.

"I'm not smug. Just feeling good today."

"Why did you ignore me yesterday? You should have come out with us."

"I told you on Friday I would be unreachable unless it was an emergency. Going out was not an emergency."

"Ugh. You and your fancy 'me time' weekends." Jared grumbled and put his head down on the desk.

"Yes. I ate a bunch of vegetables, went for a hike, and pampered myself by going to bed at a reasonable hour instead of going to a bar. You should try it some time." Kevin smirked and backed away from Jared while he hurled muffled profanities at him. Kevin didn't need Jared's bad mood wafting over to ruin his day, and he closed the door between them.

He had a very productive day, and his mood improved further when he saw that same dark-haired woman on the subway that evening. This time, he did catch her eye, and smiled shyly at her, which she returned before looking down to her book. Satisfied, he didn't bother trying to watch her anymore, just turned on his music and read his own book.

After dinner that night, he opened MatchedUp again. He felt confident for a change; the smile from the woman on the train had lifted his mood, and he was riding that high. Everything didn't seem so hopeless right then. Maybe he would actually find someone, someday.