I was there for you ⫴ completed

chapter eight

September 29.

That day was her funeral. I wore my best dress even though I didn't want to get up. Some nights I was able to cry and finally feel something. It hurt so bad. People would tell you that you lose a part of yourself. But they never tell you that this void is like a wound and every tear makes it ache more. Every thought makes the void deeper, the emptiness bigger. The nights colder. The nights darker.

Mom was worried about me. I barely ate anything at that time. You could tell that I didn't.

That day I took a shower. I should have been shocked. But I wasn't.

That day I convinced myself I'd go there for her mum. Isabella was doing better than I did. Still miserable but better than I. She had a life to live. Mine took her life.

The funeral was, I don't know. It wasn't bad. I was by Isabella's side the whole time. But I didn't shed a lot of tears. Isabella did. So I did my best to help her.

After she spoke she looked at me. It was pleading almost.

So I recall getting up. Everybody's eyes glued to me. I remember that my mind was blank. I didn't know what to say.

The only thing helping was Isabellas look. I needed to do that for her.

"Ria was my everything. She was the light of a room and always the heart of a party. But every light has its shadows. So did she.

She was an amazing friend. The best I could have asked for and way more than I'd have deserved. We were always there for each other. We took every step together.

There are so many memories of her. And I will keep them holy for the rest of my life.

As she went and set herself free, she took a big part with her.

She was amazing. She was to be the star of the movie.

She was so much better than anyone I know. She helped everyone and was pure.

She was a lot of things but never selfish.

I remember back when Isabella and mum first visited each other after our birth. We were around maybe a year old. It's my first memory of us. Laying there, just smiling at each other.

A lot might have known her as a girl who loved attention and riches as well as parties.

But I knew her as the funniest and kindest human being. As a girl who loved mango ice cream. A girl who would wake up at 3 am and started cooking. A girl who laid next to me in the grass while we were stargazing.

I owe her everything I am.

I will love her forever and I will miss her forever."

I saw a light smile on Isabella's face. 

It made the physical pain all of this caused me at that moment worth it. 

I didn't need to look at the other faces. I knew they held looks of sympathy and petty and I didn't need those. They wouldn't fix anything. 

I got that enough from the press. It was all over the news. I couldn't bear that. Isabella couldn't. It was cruel. But they never cared as long as they had a story.

That night I remember looking through all our pictures together. And I cried a lot. It felt good.

That night I remember making a decision. I wasn't able to fix her life and save her. So I will live the life she would have wanted to live.

That night I remember deciding to live the life she couldn't because I knew she'd be by my side.