MAMI ✔️

Chapter One

HANNAH'S POV

One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi.

I count down under my breath just like Darius taught me to do when things got scary and boy are they scary at the moment. Oh Darius, my big brother. The hero and savior of my life. What am I supposed to do without him?

Live, that's what, as Darius would say to me. But that is just my imagination talking as he is not here with me anymore.

His comrades lower their guns after the twenty-one-gun salute in his honor. I watch with tears brimming in my eyes as the whole ceremony blurs through. They fold up the flag over his coffin and bring it to me since I am the only family member present.

"Our deepest condolences Hannah." Tom, Darius' best friend and partner of seven years says as he gives me the flag.

"Thank you." I murmur taking it from him.

I don't miss the haunted look in Tom's eyes, he and Darius were really close. He is like a big brother to me so I know he is in pain as well. Anyone who knew Darius is. Tom stands up and marches back in line so that the ceremony can proceed.

Everyone at the ceremony is either a friend or colleague. My parents did not even bother to show up at their own son's funeral but it does not matter. It has been just Darius and I for a long time and now its just me. That thought alone is enough to bring more tears to my eyes.

I reach into my bag for a fresh tissue but with all the crying I have been doing, I am not surprised when I come up blank. One appears in my line of sight and I turn to find my best friend, Jada holding one out for me.

"Thank you." I sniff taking it from her.

She gives me a sad smile and wraps a comforting arm around my shoulders. I wipe my tears and blow my nose not caring about all the noise that I am making. Jada has been my biggest support through everything from planning the funeral to taking care of me. She makes sure I eat, sleep and shower since it's all I can manage to do. Losing Darius is the worst thing that's has ever happened to me so I am grateful to have Jada by my side.

She was there with me when I received the news of my brothers passing and has not left my side since. I am really lucky to have her. Once I am over my mourning, I will be sure to let her know how much I appreciate her.

Jada takes my hand as we walk up to the coffin to lay our roses on top of the casket.

"I'll miss you Erie." I whisper kissing the single white rose before placing it on top of the coffin.

I use his middle name, that he hated, in the hopes that it will make him mad enough to resurrect him so he can scold me but unfortunately it does not work.

I stay rooted on the spot unable to move away from my big brother's side. I feel so lost without him. Darius has always been my protector. We have, had, I have to keep reminding myself that it's all in the past now, a four year age gap but that only helped our bond become stronger. He was more than my big brother, he was the parent that I never had growing up till he was taken away from me.

"Hannah, we need to go love." Jada whispers wrapping her arms around me.

"What am I going to do without him?" I cry unable to move.

"Live. You know that's what Darius would have wanted." She answers.

I know that she is right but it is so hard to come into terms with.

Jada is unable to help me back to my seat by herself so she waves Tom, her fiancé, over to help. Together they are able to haul my plus size ass back to the tiny chairs that are hurting my bum.