Shatter

Chapter 24: Impossible

I've never gotten up so quickly in the morning. 

I took a quick glance at the metallicon hanging on the wall, and it read The Second of The Moon Eau, 5:00 AM. 

Luna was at the other side of the room, asleep. "Wake up," I hissed. She didn't move. "Wake up, Luna." I said, slightly louder, careful not to wake my parents. 

Luna moved a bit. "What?" she asked, drowsily, still on the edge of sleep. 

"Carmen." I said. 

Suddenly, Luna was awake. She sat up in a second, and stared at me. "What?" Luna asked, sharper. 

"Hush," I said pressing a finger to my lips. "I saw Carmen in my dream." 

"You what?" Luna asked, incredulous. "No... that's not...." She continued mumbling some things under her breath. She looked up, avoiding my eyes. Her eyes caught on the metallicon. "What's that?" Luna pointed at it. 

"It's a metallicon," I explained. "Luna, this is Aeluin. You should know this! Have you completely lost Aeluin?" 

"Yes," she murmured. "I understand nothing, now. What's a metallicon? What does it say?"

"A metallicon tells the time," I said. "I don't know how to explain. I don't know how humans say the date." 

"I understand the numbers, of course," Luna said. "It says 5:00 AM. In the morning. What other thing does it say? 'The Second of The Moon Eau'... what does that mean?"

"It's the month," I said patiently. She had lost Aeluin. Lost her reading skills in Aeluin. Lost everything. 

"Oh!" Luna said. "I get it... it's July, isn't it? That's the month for a Cancer."

"What?" I asked, perplexed. 

"For a Cancer, the element is water. And the planet is the moon. And... in that language... oh yes—French. Eau is the French word for water." 

"Okay, I guess." I said, still extremely confused. It just felt like... she wasn't part of Aeluin anymore.

"Back to what you were saying... you met Carmen?!" Luna asked. 

I nodded. "And she also told me some things." I told her what Carmen had said about the burnt rose metaphor. 

"Mmm," Luna said, deep in thought. "Yilania had said that either I accepted my Fear, or I know it's there... that's why I see my Fear in the form of a monster. So if I have to accept it, that means I only know it know... hm. But Zeph," She grabbed my arm. "How do I accept my monster when it's dominating my life?" 

"Maybe you could try right now. Try to talk to the man in the mirror." 

Luna gulped. "I-I'm too..." 

"Too what?" I questioned. 

"Too scared to," she admitted. 

"Aha!" I said. "And that is the problem. You have to know it's there. Let it drift away." I gently placed a hand on her shoulder and steered her out of bed into the restroom. She stood in front of the mirror. 

"He's not there," Luna said, looking up at me. "He's not—" she suddenly stifled back a scream. I locked her in where she was standing. "It's him," Luna said. "Zephyr, please, don't make me stare at—" She tried to back away.

I didn't see anything. 

Suddenly, Luna fell to the ground. My heart suddenly raced. What was happening? No one had touched her, and my arms hadn't faltered, I was sure of it. I dropped to the ground. "Luna, what's happening?" I asked, panicking. 

"HE'S THERE, YOU IDIOT," Luna said angrily, trying not to yell. "LET ME GO!" 

"I'm not even touching you," I said calmly. "He's going to be there. Calm down!" 

"How do you expect me to—" she flinched as if something stabbed her. "I'm afraid of my Fear, I can't escape from it—" Luna flinched again, and backed towards the door. I looked up, into the mirror. And there it was. Him. The one Luna talked about. I wished I could unsee him. But I couldn't. And I wasn't to worry about him now. 

"Luna, stay still," I muttered. "He's going to be there, okay? He will follow you wherever he goes. You can't escape, you're right! But you have to know—" 

Luna's cheeks flushed a blotchy red. "How do you expect me to know? What do you mean, know? I've known my Fear MY WHOLE LIFE, and you're just going to expect me to accept and forget? You're supposed to know me better than anyone!" 

"But you can't escape," I repeated, trying to keep my voice steady. "So why are you wasting your time and energy? Everyone is afraid of something, Luna." 

"It's impossible to let him go!" Luna lunged at me. "It's freaking impossible. I can't." She barked. "Everything is utterly ridiculous. Why am I here? I was fine living with a Fear—"

"But you're not," I shot back. "You flinch and jerk away everytime he approaches you! Just look at him in the eye, for heaven's sake." 

Luna stared at the empty air. Suddenly, her eyes grew wide. "He's not there." 

"Exactly." I said. "And that, is how you accept."