The Hours We Have

chapter forty-seven

Later that night, Malia stood at my window. 

She was gazing out into the dark as if something was out there, and it was only then I took notice of how quiet she had been since the abundance of news earlier. My lungs deflated as I finally took in the gravity of her feelings. 

Something I hadn't considered, and I had always been good at considering others' feelings before my own. I hated how selfish I could be sometimes. 

I stood up. 

"Malia, are you okay?" I asked quietly. 

"I don't know," She answered honestly, her eyes glossing over with tears as she turned to face me, "I just learned that my best friend is moving away and I got dropped from my program a few days ago and my Dad has practically disowned me." 

I flinched. My lips parted with words I wanted to say but none of them seemed right. I doubted that anything I could say would fix the pain she felt, and I felt guilty for being so happy. "I-I..." 

She held up her hand, cutting me off. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to come out like that, I just need time to process everything. It's not your fault," She sucked in a breath, "I shouldn't have said it like that, it ruined your happiness." 

"You're right, though," I said, my throat tightening. 

"I love you no matter where you are," Malia looked me dead in the eyes, "You'll always be my best friend." With those words, she wound her arms around me and sobbed quietly into my shoulder.

My eyes welled with tears because I couldn't imagine my life without Malia, especially ever since I lost my parents, and now it seemed like a bittersweet reality. "I'm going to miss you a lot," I murmured. 

"Yeah, me too," She sucked in a breath, "It won't be the same without you." 

Suddenly, an idea struck me. I drew away from her. "Come with us." 

She sniffled, "W-what?" 

"Malia," I grabbed her forearms, "Come with us. You were already thinking about moving out, so just move in with us. You can even have dibs on a room!" 

Her eyes searched mine for any trace of a joke, but I wasn't joking. More tears fell from her eyes, "Jordyn... I can't. I don't--I love this city," She struggled to find the right words, "I don't want to... leave." 

An ache built beneath my breastbone. "Oh," I said. 

"It's not that I don't want to come with you," She cried softly, grasping my hand, "I would love that more than anything but I can't... don't want to move out of the city. I'm just... my life is here." She drew another breath, "My life is here, but yours isn't anymore." 

Two tears involuntarily trailed down my cheeks.

"You need to go and live your life," She squeezed my hand, "It might not include me anymore but I want you to be happy. Please, be happy. You deserve it more than anyone I know, you haven't been truly happy since your parents, and I don't want you to give up this opportunity." 

"Malia," I cried and threw my arms around her. 

I would have never imagined how painful this day would be. I would have never imagined the possibility of moving away from my best friend, my lifeline, my happiness when I was at my lowest, and it hurt. So damn bad. 

I just thought my best friend would always be there. Regardless of where we ended up, and I was learning that it wasn't true. We were two people, with two different lives and paths that we follow, but that didn't mean we would be any less close at heart. Even with the distance between us.