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Time to smash another Discord user! Time to prove my reputation! BRING OUT THE WINE BOYS! WE GOING DEEP!
In the Crossfire is a completed story by YelenaLugin. I read through chapter 10, which includes the .5 chapters, so about half-way through. I usually aim for the half-way mark. If there isn't enough to comment on, then I will keep going. As one can obviously tell, when I reached the half-way mark there was enough to talk about. :)
TLDR; Gladiator for angel's entertainment.
Overall I'd rate it 3 smashing out of 5. Its strength and weakness are equal.
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Plot - Aggravating - The plot is aggravating. There is no better way to put it. Because it is so damn good. Yet it makes a mistake, one fatal mistake, that is so bad it shoots itself in the head right from the start and ruins EVERYTHING. And this is going to be difficult to explain.
I saw this coming and so asked the author what kind of character arc the MC is going through. I had my suspicion but wanted to be sure. She said it is a positive curve character arc. (basically a hero journey.)
And that right there, from the start, is the problem. She tries to be. The story wants to be. She says it is.
It really isn't.
A hero journey requires a compelling villain, a flawed hero, and a powerful trigger. Crossfire has a compelling villain, a hero, and a powerful trigger. Notice the word missing there: flawed.
The story makes the mistake of thinking a positive curve character arc's growth is about physical strength. The story thinks growth is about bigger and badder muscles. It really isn't. A positive curve character arc is about overcoming the lie the character believes, and in so doing, overcoming the villain that represents the opposite side of the same philosophy. It is about making a better person.
This story's entire plot, beat for beat, is perfectly identical to another fanfiction I read once called "Gladiator". Only Gladiator did it perfectly. So I will do a side-by-side comparison.
1. Background:
Gladiator: Fanfiction of Avatar Last Airbender. Aang never woke up. Fire Nation show up and woop everyone's ass except for pocket resistance.
