Death & Tequila [mxm]

16. Breakroom Coffee

Toni was still holding him tightly as he shook off the nerves from the dream. He could never get used to the nightmares, and they took a lot out of him. But now, he felt somewhat grateful that the dreams were turning into conversations with Carlos. To hear his voice was a blessing.

Toni examined Jaiden with a questioning look. Jaiden knew that as a detective, he was naturally inquisitive, but he didn't voice a single question.

"Did I yell?" Jaiden asked.

Toni gently rubbed his back. "A little."

Jaiden sighed. "Sorry. I tend to do that."

Toni ran his hand through Jaiden's hair to try and comfort him. "You calmed down after a while, but you were still crying."

Jaiden could tell that he was hesitant to bring it up.

Jaiden kissed him lightly. "I tend to do that too. Cursed, remember?" He gave a self-deprecating laugh.

He didn't want to, but still forced himself out of Toni's arms and sat at the edge of the bed with his back facing him.

He knew that this was an automatic response. His body was used to creating distance.

The fire had almost flickered out and the chill crept into the room again. He and Toni had fallen asleep without bothering about clothes. So, leaving the warmth of Toni and being completely exposed to the cold air made him shiver.

"The nightmares are a little more frequent this time of year." Jaiden said quietly.

He could feel the bed dip behind him, and Toni's arms were around him again. He placed kissed on his shoulders and neck.

Death happens in this line of work. Sometimes you need to defend yourself. Other times you respond to a call and are just too late. On the other side of the coin, any cop could tell you about someone they had lost in the line of duty. A friend, colleague, family. Loss was just a part of the terms and conditions of the badge.

The details of Carlos' passing were kept confidential, and many didn't know what Jaiden had witnessed. They knew he called it in, but they didn't know how he had hold on to Carlos' body as he died. His last words and his last breath were now a carved into Jaiden's heart.

Toni still didn't ask for and explanation or even voiced his assumptions. He continued to hold onto to Jaiden.

"If you let me, I'll be here to wake you from your nightmares." He whispered.

Jaiden felt the comfort of hearing those words. Since the moment he heard those gunshots at the church, he had been living in a nightmare. Maybe Toni could wake him up from this lonely hell.

"I think... I would like that..." Jaiden said quietly.

Toni was surprised from the reaction. He felt like he took a risk by asking Jaiden to not only be vulnerable but to trust him. He anticipated that he would be pushed away again, but contrary to expectations, Jaiden accepted. It was another wall crumbling away. Toni held on to him a little tighter, fearful of losing this moment.

Without sharing another word, Toni pulled Jaiden back in bed with him and held him closely. It was like he knew what Jaiden was dreaming about and refused to let him run away from him.

Before the sun broke through the horizon, Jaiden work up, feeling restless. He slipped out of the bed and pulled on some joggers and a sweatshirt. He slipped out to the back patio and sat on the chair that let him overlook the Sandias. The sun started to peak over the mountains, and the sky started to glow like honey. He sighed as he watched the spectacular show that came with every morning.